River is a MALE whos is STRAIGHT. he is not GAY. SUPER STRAIGHT! yes he is well hung, yes he is educated, yes he does woman studies, yes he is a 'womaniser', yes he watches beastality, yes he is large. This is river we are talking about.
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Sexy Girl Lady: "Hey, did you see that River guy? I heard he's the baddest Poo Crewer around!"
John Oates: "He slobbered on my nip!"
John Oates: "He slobbered on my nip!"
by RiverO'shea August 10, 2023
Their the greatest most loving best friend you'll ever have so if you meet a river make sure to keep them because there always gonna be by your side for life
Girl: omg who's that?!
Me: oh that's river my best friend
Girl: woah you got so lucky to know a river!
Me: oh that's river my best friend
Girl: woah you got so lucky to know a river!
by Howshushing_face December 23, 2021
River is the best person. He's extremely funny and super sweet. He's not the best at giving advice but he will try and will always listen. He's such a genuine friend that cares about everyone. Loves Star Wars and Cartoons, the best thing to like honestly. He has amazing eyes and a great smile. He's pretty hyper and chaotic but really chill when you get to know him. It takes him a second to warm up to you but once he does he's the best friend you can ask for. Get yourself a River.
by BussinChicken November 23, 2021
A fat piece of shit that drives a truck, usually a GMC. Has way too many confederate flags. His dream date is a all you can eat buffet. Usually a person with this name chews too much tobacco and smokes the shittiest cigarettes aka Pall Malls. Has a 2 inch penis and hairy loose asshole.
by Sodhdjskskdhdhd April 9, 2019
The name River means this person has big ears and earth gripping feet, usually has a busted cut and bad joint pain resulting in a hitch in their wrists and also in the lower body (I.e. knees) People named river are typically underdeveloped from their mental capacity to their physical features and are less likely to play any sports at a high level (aka D1). “Rivers” are always right hand dominant and can therefore not go left.
by Dragon Hunter 76 July 15, 2022
River is a gorgeous girl who deserves the whole world n sm more but has only gotten sm less. She is Trauma ridden n broken by her past but the shell of the sweet human she was before still survives. River is my crush. If she’s reading this, I love u rj.
by Everyonesdad December 2, 2022
River aka rivka. River is someone you meet through mutual friends that you both kinda hate, but he hates everyone so it’s okay. He’s a nice guy with long hair, but you always wonder if he actually washes it. He likes to stalk your Spotify but will not turn his on like a little tiny bitch. With river, you never know what he’s thinking, and you’re almost positive he has a secret life. He will be a decent Vice President, but nothing crazy. And his shoes are never tied ever.
by Moneycatcher May 26, 2022