Raptor Jesus appeared before me, and he said: "Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life." I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?" He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me." For that is the beauty of Raptor Jesus.
One day, Raptor Jesus walked a busy street with his disciple, Anonymous. Anonymous and his like-named brethren populated the land on which they strolled, as common as blades of grass. They walked, discussing many things, but, Anonymous paused for a moment. “Lord?” he spoke, “Is not this idle talk frowned upon by your father?” And quoth Raptor Jesus; “All voice communicates knowledge. Knowledge is hardly frowned upon by anyone, and thus your ‘idle talk’ does not exist, unless you speak of memes. Memes are idle, as they are merely communication of things all know of” And thus our Lord beckoned to a painting of an insanely smiling man. “However, memes can bring laughter and happiness, thus, one can surmise that He enjoys them, and hardly frowns upon them” And Anonymous looked ahead, silent.
by Anon Divad December 07, 2007
by xXwafflez_no_jutsuXx April 26, 2010
The female human has two X chromosomes and therefore can give birth ONLY to females via parthenogenesis. In Varanus sp. (the Komodo dragon and relatives), parthenogenesis can produce only males. This is compelling proof that Jesus was, in fact, a monitor lizard.
by raptorjesusrawr September 09, 2010
A meme refering to the Transformers Beast Wars character Dinobot. Raptor Jesus died for the sins of the Maximals and two seasons later was reborn a Transmetal 2 Predacon. Both times he sacrificed himself to advance the plot.
He sometimes appears jokingly as an image macro selling babies on image boards or in votive candles (citation needed).
He sometimes appears jokingly as an image macro selling babies on image boards or in votive candles (citation needed).
by RbK1981 March 18, 2008
by f1r3wAll September 07, 2006
A meme that rose to fame when it was the 900,000th post on 4chan's /b/ (which now has over 40 million posts). Consists of a raptor's head crudely photoshopped onto a picture of Jesus.
by adeb November 23, 2007