Top definition
A an old fashioned, homeschooling mother who thinks that girls should suffer during warm weather because shorts and tank tops will turn them into strippers destined for hell.
*girl walks into room wearing a weather-appropriate but not revealing tank top and jeans*

Puritan mother: Oh my goodness! Put some clothes on before you end up spending the rest of your life in a brothel!

Girl: But look at Zack! He's shirtless and his jeans are so low we can practically see all of his boxers! Why is that ok??

Puritan mother: Because I'm a sexist bitch.
by thatsjustterrible May 07, 2011
Get the mug
Get a Puritan mug for your mother-in-law Sarah.
Nov 23 Word of the Day
A massive dump that takes 10 to 15 times to flush.
After Thanksgiving, I had to Take a Trump.
by JRBIV December 11, 2019
Get the merch
Get the Take a Trump neck gaiter and mug.
2
Someone who wants to basically make life as boring as possible
Mr. Cox is so puritan he made the band instafail due to lack of coolness.
by WaCkEdOuTDj October 28, 2008
Get the merch
Get the Puritan neck gaiter and mug.
3
A person that's literally the king/queen of inferiority that they make themselves feel better by acting morally over the top that they expect everyone to be like them and anyone that dares to differ will be canceled
My puritan friends act like they better than everyone but when they walked downstairs, they saw that me, my friend, and the dog were in fancy clothes, they freaked the fuck out and had a temper tantrum.
via giphy
by demekin March 17, 2020
Get the merch
Get the Puritan neck gaiter and mug.
4
A person who loves Jesus and would never do drugs, have sex, or wear inappropriate clothing. They also go to church all the time and try to be the best they can be.
Jasmia: Hey Lexi you're such a good innocent Puritan! Keep staying above the influence a doing your homework!

Lexi: Thank you Jasmia. Praise Jesus!
by TARZAAAAN November 10, 2012
Get the mug
Get a Puritan mug for your barber Rihanna.
5
A bunch of religious zealots, name "puritans" for their faith in the olde ways, who left Europe to come to America and kill all the natives! Nice guys, eh?
The puritans were the founders of America...THOSE DIRTY BASTARDS!
by Anti-Patriot November 30, 2003
Get the merch
Get the Puritans neck gaiter and mug.
6
The Puritans were members of a religious reformation movement known as Puritanism which arose within the Church of England. Puritans were the more extreme Protestants within the Church of England in the late 16th century who thought that the English Reformation wasnโ€™t far enough in reforming the doctrines and structure of the church. They wanted to purify the Church of England as it was too similar to the Roman Catholic Church. In the 17th century, many Puritans emigrated to the New World, where they sought a holy commonwealth in New England.
many Puritans emigrated to the New World
by skskoop September 30, 2019
Get the mug
Get a puritans mug for your Aunt Larisa.

Activity