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Kirkland Purified Water 

16.9 fl oz of water that makes you high as balls
Person 1: Hey dude you want some dope Kirkland Purified Water?

Person 2: Yeah bro lemme get a hit of that Kirkland Purified Water.

Mother Fucking Lower Moreland Purified Water 

A Philladelphian slang word for the kids from the suburbs in Pennsylvania who only drink purified water, because they’re too snobby for spicket water, which they call sink water. Also called MFLMPW

Sam's Purified Drinking Water with Flavor Enhancing Minerals 

"Damn bro, Sam's Purified Drinking Water with Flavor Enhancing Minerals is so refreshing.

water purifier 

when the customer places himself under a mesh camping table while their partner vigorously defecates on the surface of the table sorting the peanut and corn from the poop. in case the customer has an allergy.
Josh gave shawn a water purifier at church camp.