Something you only buy into whilst wielding a raging stiffy. Examples include porno subscriptions, video games with hot girls on the cover, marriage, etc.
Usually I don't bother with paid porn but the genitals were hidden behind a paywall and I had to figure out if it was a man or a woman. That was a penis purchase I still regret.
by Prometheus McSpanky April 12, 2017
by Caroline43001 August 2, 2009
1- Any mule that is available to be bought, as opposed to rented;
2- Any person taking a severe beating, albeit not so severe as the ones experienced by a rented mule.
2- Any person taking a severe beating, albeit not so severe as the ones experienced by a rented mule.
I will beat you like a rented mule, or a Mule for Purchase. Fact is, if there is livestock involved, I will beat you like it.
by Matt Amazo January 17, 2008
the act of a male hot gluing pennies onto his penis, then proceeding to ram a girl in the ass. While doing so, the male then sets her hair on fire, throws her out a the window of a four story building, severely injuring her, then steeling her tv.
Jake: "i gave this chick a Louisiana purchase the other day. My dick still hurts but the tv was worth it."
Jack: "Very nice!"
Jack: "Very nice!"
by jdubs9486 March 3, 2010
An Alzheimer's Purchase is when you buy something online that takes so long to be delivered, you forgot you ordered it in the first place.
Girl: You like my necklace?
Boy: That's very nice! Where did it come from?
Girl: I bought it online, but it took so long to get here, I forgot about it.
Boy: Nice Alzheimer's Purchase!
Boy: That's very nice! Where did it come from?
Girl: I bought it online, but it took so long to get here, I forgot about it.
Boy: Nice Alzheimer's Purchase!
by AluMiNuM7777 December 4, 2013
1. when someone who is ugly/lame looks really attractive; when you find yourself having mad bone for someone who, in the real world, you would laugh at with your hot friends. this disease affects 99% of students at purchase college. it is not sexually transmitted, though it does cause victims to have a lot of sex with people who, when seen in the dining hall later, will cause them to barf a little in their mouths.
2. purchase goggles doesn't only apply to how one percieves another who is ugly/lame, it is also representative of how one approaches their love life. one might be wearing purchase goggles when they start feeling as though there are like 5 guys in the whole world and they must start liking one of them or they'll be alone forever. there are millions of men in the world and they are not all dancers and painters. one day, post-purchase, you'll find someone who did not have sex with the same 5 people you've had sex with, and in the rare instance that this does happen you will not have to find this out by seeing them together in the dining hall. (please note: actors do not apply because no one should ever be dating an actor to begin with. this is another topic entirely)
2. purchase goggles doesn't only apply to how one percieves another who is ugly/lame, it is also representative of how one approaches their love life. one might be wearing purchase goggles when they start feeling as though there are like 5 guys in the whole world and they must start liking one of them or they'll be alone forever. there are millions of men in the world and they are not all dancers and painters. one day, post-purchase, you'll find someone who did not have sex with the same 5 people you've had sex with, and in the rare instance that this does happen you will not have to find this out by seeing them together in the dining hall. (please note: actors do not apply because no one should ever be dating an actor to begin with. this is another topic entirely)
if any of the following applies to you, you are most definately wearing purchase goggles.
example of def. 1: chubby dancers, guys with plugs, guys with bald spots, guys with bad haircuts in general, guys who drink cobra, guys who will buy you drugs, guys with moustaches, guys with cars, guys with bands, guys with cool/hot friends, guys who were raised in manhattan, guys who live in brooklyn, guys with big bathrooms, guys who look like hot guys you can't have, guys who wear tight black clothes, guys with girlfriends, guys with boyfriends etc.
example of def. 2: when any combination of the above start to look like someone you could bring home to your parents.
example of def. 1: chubby dancers, guys with plugs, guys with bald spots, guys with bad haircuts in general, guys who drink cobra, guys who will buy you drugs, guys with moustaches, guys with cars, guys with bands, guys with cool/hot friends, guys who were raised in manhattan, guys who live in brooklyn, guys with big bathrooms, guys who look like hot guys you can't have, guys who wear tight black clothes, guys with girlfriends, guys with boyfriends etc.
example of def. 2: when any combination of the above start to look like someone you could bring home to your parents.
by zachary pace December 6, 2006
by KRHimself April 9, 2005