Pumping The Faucet 

A new and genius definition by ya boi, LOGIC...

-Pumping the faucet means the same thing as jacking off, or in other words, if you don't know what the fuck that means, then you can go fuck yourself...

-Mom- (Knocks on the door) "What are you doing son...?"

-James- (GASPS)"Uhhmm, nothing mom, just pumping the faucet"

-Mom- "OH MYYY GODDD, YOU'RE DOING WWHHAAAT...? WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT LANGUAGE...? DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO "ME" LIKE THAT!!! YOU'RE GROUNDED YOUNG MAN!!! I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!"

-James- (..starts laughing uncontrollably) "Ha! You're doing that..? God, you're one stupid bitch! Yeah, why don't you tell them to bring you some pizza and some fuckin' twinkies while your at it, ya fat bitch! Go ahead and call em', I don't give a shit, I'll be waiting!"

-Mom- "JUST WAIT YA LITTLE BASTARD, WHEN THEY COME, YOU'RE ASS IS GOING TO DETENTION, WHERE YOU'LL BE PUT IN TIME OUT FOR MISBEHAVING, END OF STORY!!"

-James- "Go suck a fat one, stupid slut!"

Pumping The Faucet by xLOGICx July 14, 2007

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026