Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group
A loose network of individuals, generally connected through online communications, dedicated to spreading the belief that 'online' poker is 'rigged'. The most common belief is that players are 'fed' above-average starting hands to make them play more pots, thus supposedly increasing rake for the site.
An objective analysis quickly reveals this to be unworkable. Pre-loading players with excellent starting hands would in fact *lower* rake overall. This is because such a practice would invariably cause play to occur over a small number of large pots, rather than a large number of small pots. Since most sites 'cap' the rake at a given figure (typically taking a maximum of $3 per pot regardless of size), this would be deleterious to profit. Additionally, after a small series of large pots, *at least* one person at the table will have lost all their money. Hence no more pots (and thus no more rake) *at all*.
The nonsensicality of the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group's beliefs is no deterrent to the promulgation of their credo. This is because these are, invariably, losing players, who do not wish to acknowledge that they have been repeatedly beaten in a game of skill by players whose skill is superior to theirs. It is perhaps a noteworthy comment on the human condition that such conspiracies do not exist with regards to other skill games where money is not directly used as a tool of play.
The Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group exists so that its members may continue to delude themselves about their poker ability, comfort each other over their soooooo-so rigged rivers, ignore pot odds and implied odds, and collectively justify committing mass credit-card fraud, since 'it's not stealing if they're thieves too'.
An objective analysis quickly reveals this to be unworkable. Pre-loading players with excellent starting hands would in fact *lower* rake overall. This is because such a practice would invariably cause play to occur over a small number of large pots, rather than a large number of small pots. Since most sites 'cap' the rake at a given figure (typically taking a maximum of $3 per pot regardless of size), this would be deleterious to profit. Additionally, after a small series of large pots, *at least* one person at the table will have lost all their money. Hence no more pots (and thus no more rake) *at all*.
The nonsensicality of the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group's beliefs is no deterrent to the promulgation of their credo. This is because these are, invariably, losing players, who do not wish to acknowledge that they have been repeatedly beaten in a game of skill by players whose skill is superior to theirs. It is perhaps a noteworthy comment on the human condition that such conspiracies do not exist with regards to other skill games where money is not directly used as a tool of play.
The Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group exists so that its members may continue to delude themselves about their poker ability, comfort each other over their soooooo-so rigged rivers, ignore pot odds and implied odds, and collectively justify committing mass credit-card fraud, since 'it's not stealing if they're thieves too'.
I made the nuts on the flop, checked, and checked the turn... this MOFO is there checkin' right back behind me... river... a DIAMOND omfg so f-in RIGGED, the guy had a FLUSH omg roflmao can't believe he HAD A FLUSH... NO F-ING WAY THE ODDS ARE LIKE QUADRILLIONS TO ONE I'm off to join the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group!
Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group by Peter Gibney December 19, 2006
Get the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group mug.