1. A skewbald or piebald (US paint) horse whose attitude to life is such that it causes those who encounter him to doubt the soundness of mind of the horse and indeed the owner/rider.
2. A complete bellend of a horse who appears to be offended by mediocrity, so his decision-making and antics ensure his lack of talent in his chosen discipline is masked by the chaos, comedy and damage caused to property and person.
3. Generally a shite eventer.
Insurance Claims person “So you hadn’t even left the yard and you expect me to believe that the horsebox just... fell apart?”
Owner “No. wait. The patchy twat took offence to the partition and galloped through the horsebox before he realised the front ramp wasn’t down.”
Insurance claim person. “Oh.... that’s fine. Claim approved. You probably should have mentioned that your horse is a patchy twat at the start of the call.”
A skewbald or piebald horse that spends considerably more time trying to embarrass it’s rider (often by throwing them off) than it does trying to clear a fence/complete a dressagetest/follow any other instructions. Often ridden by a shit eventer.
The patchy twat threw me at the first fence in the cross countrytoday
A girl or boy who forgot to moisturize before doing their makeup, and has patches and blotches of makeup all over his or her face. She is also referred to a pumpkin, if her foundation or concealer is too dark, and she or he ends up an orange color.
Look how Natalie did her makeuptoday. She is definitely a Patchy Pumpkin.
Often carries huge packages, such as ass & titties. Very rare to find. When they are found they are extremely hard to get with. Sometimes known as a goddess. Dates back to greek times, because many men chased her but no one could have her.
"i Wish i had a pashyn"
"Oh shit if i ever found one i'd dump them