Not here to Fuck Spiders

Australian slang. The term is derived from and is another way in saying, “not here to fuck around. I am here to get the job done”.” Stop wasting time we have things to do”.

It also can be used as declaration that a person has arrived at place of work or sporting team etc…with set of goals and is determined to meet them.

Can be used as reply to obvious question.

Also can be used around women and children as “not here to fornicate with arachnids’"

1. "Mate look at this"...Barry
" Barry, we are not here to Fuck Spiders, get back to it."...boss

2. "Do you think we can win the championship?"...Player
"Well I am not here to Fuck Spiders"...Coach

3. "Digging a hole mate"
“Well I am not here Fuck Spiders"

by Parker26 August 20, 2010

Not here to fuck spiders

Intentionally offbeat, blunt, and sarcastic Australian humor to exclaim that you mean business and you're not here to waste time.

It's also rhyming slang with "not here to kick the tires" of a car for sale, which has a similar meaning.

1. "So, are we going to the pub or what?"...Jono
"We're not here to fuck spiders mate, let's fuck this puppy."...Sambo

2. "Your first month on the job has been fantastic. Sales have gone through the roof"...Manager
"Well, I'm not here to fuck spiders. When I'm I going to get my commission check?...Sales rep

by Khe Sanh July 29, 2020

Not here to fuck spiders

A metaphor for not having sex with a skinny girl.

Generally used in a sentence to declare ones love for big booty bitches and nothing else.

1. "Look at that girl, she is thicc"
"Well I'm not here to fuck spiders"

2 " We're not fucking spiders in 2019, big booty bitches only.

by djamax January 10, 2019

Not here to fuck spiders

“Fuck Spiders” Originally refers to (during boredom) putting all finger tips together and bouncing palms in and out. Which can look like two spiders fucking.

“Are we getting the job done?”

“Yeah, we’re not here to fuck spiders”

by URBAN155 July 18, 2022

Not here to fuck spiders

Here to get shit done, not waste time.
In the language of the screen -cartoons especially- the passage of time without activity in a place is hit home with spider webs festooned all over everything. Why would you want that? Spiders everywhere? Are you into spiders?

Not here to fuck spiders, mate.

by Nick Brook May 1, 2025

i'm not here to fuck spiders

(Australian) "I'm already doing that" or "Obviously, yeah"

At the bar with a friend
Mate: do you want to get a beer?
Me: well, I'm not here to fuck spiders!

by rahx April 9, 2015

We're not here to fuck spiders

A way of saying; why aren't we doing it already, I'm already doing it, or it's already done.

Possibly derived from ant fucker, is a call to action.

"Do you want another beer?"
"We're not here to fuck spiders mate!"

by Johntom March 26, 2008