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northern pike 

A girl who, despite having 'the goods', just isn't attractive. Typically as a result of personality/intelligence or a complete lack thereof.

It is perfectly normal to find a northern pike 'hot' but the thought of dating one ought to induce near suicidal nausea

Derived from the song "She ain't pretty (she just looks that way)" by the Northern Pikes
Bob: "So how was your date with that hottie from the bar?"
Steve: "Total waste of time. She was such a northern pike that had to duck out of dinner before she made me I stabbed my eyes out with a fork."
northern pike by Lochnivar November 14, 2009
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Northern Pike 

when you gently place your scrotum on lovers face near nose. then lovingly drag testicles up to forehead, allowing penis to rest on the bridge of their nose.
me and my girlfriend are doing a northern Pike tonight
Northern Pike by BiggEGGs June 24, 2025