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my foot

An exclamation that means that one believes the previous speaker's statement to be untrue. Synonyms include my ass, bullshit, horse shit, yeah right, get out of here, and "if I do say, my dear chap, I find your previous statement to be rather hard to believe."
Dad: "Young lady, it's 2 in the morning! Where have you been?"
Daughter: "Um, I was just over at Rick's house."
Dad: "My foot! What were you really doing?"
Daughter: "I was at his house for the big keg party. His parents were out of town."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "So we had a kegstand contest and I won! 53 seconds! Then to celebrate I took 4 or 5 vodka shots."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Then I got in the bathroom and the guys lined up outside, and you know how that goes... then the Hell's Angels showed up, then about half of the Pittsburgh Steelers football team... my jaw is so tired."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Wow Dad those are some nice new shoes, they would look really good on - "
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Yeah. Well anyway Steve was nice enough to stay sober and drive me home."
Dad: "Now that I believe, but the rest of your story was BULLSHIT! You were really at the library, weren't you?"
Daughter: "Yes, I was. I was studying for my history test on Monday."
Dad: "I am so disappointed in you! Go to your room!"
by Nicholas D September 5, 2006
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my foot in your ass

This is what will happen if you are an annoying person. It could happen when you act stupid at the bars around drunk people that are twice the size of you.
"If you don't shut the fuck up I'm gonna put my foot in your ass!!!"
by Lord Chacal October 11, 2005
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My foot-long schlong

A phrase that could be used to convey how massive my dick would be if it existed, I'm jzut saying I would be packing. Forget my height for a while okay
God its basically a third leg
What is
My foot-long schlong
Ha it is, with how long ur legs are
by Deathmaycometomorrow June 25, 2021
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My foot hurts and I don't know why

A pain in the foot, caused by something or other that cannot be identified, could be as simple as a sharp pebble in your shoe to as bad as you having stage four cancer tumor in your foot.
Guy1: Ow, my foot hurts and I don't know why.
Guy2: That sucks.
by Kingdoms of Fear Project March 21, 2022
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my foot and a half

Something absolutely preposterous and absurd, used to express anger or irritation, amore powerful than the phrase "my foot".
We have 20 minutes to write this exam? My foot and a half!
by French egg head August 25, 2023
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my foot in your ass

What usually happens during rainy days when the concrete is wet and the traction on your shoe is reduced. Typically known as a foot slid into the rectum(usually barefoot) and sometimes consists of a 3 hour hospital wait.
My foot in your ass feels as if i had my hand stuck in the cheese wiz jar once again.
by Pat The Phunky Homosapien June 27, 2003
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My foot up yo ass

Unless you want my foot up yo ass, get to steppin'.
by Thaddian May 26, 2015
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