When something is awful.
"No Jerry, we shouldn't eat at that place. It's so mullens!"
by ritnecrowin October 18, 2011
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When you don't like to wipe your ass to the point where it gets so nasty, you get a big (the record is 2.5 feet..ish) ass skid mark, "poo streak", on someones bed or in the witnessed event, a mattress cover!
dood, do you like skid marks? wipe your ass or you're going to get a big Mullens on your bed!!!
by BEEF!!! May 20, 2008
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1. Used in the saying "Don't Mullens Yourself", meaning not to overly stress out, flip out or "mess" oneself up.

2. "Do The Mullens" - pop your collar, strike a Japanese/Myspace-style backwards peace sign pose, pout and tip your hat (if wearing one) while smoothing your fringe with your free hand. Kind of like the new "Do The Bartman."

3. To ejaculate into someone's eye.
1. Guy 1: "OMG AS IF YOU GUYS WENT TO TACO BILL WITHOUT ME! WTFFFFF!"
Guy 2: Dude...Don't Mullens Yourself.

2. (while photo is being taken)
"EVERYBODY DO THE MULLENS!"
(all simultaneously pop collars if wearing them, pout girlishly, and strike Myspace-style poses.)
OR,
(on a freakishly cold day)
"Shit, it's cold. I'm doing a Mullens." (pops up collar to prevent neck getting cold.)

3. (person gets shampoo squirted in their eye)
Person 1: "OWW! I think I just got Mullensed by that shampoo!"
Person 2: "Shit, that's gotta hurt."
OR,
Guy 1: "Man that chick is so fly."
Guy 2: "Would you Mullens her?"
by poppin' mine November 24, 2009
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1. The pathetic act of attributing a ridiculously poor performance or failure of effort to a set of universal variables not unique to the failing entity, often discounting the importance of the competition event. Usage of this verb references Coach Dan Mullen’s leadership before and after the Florida Gators 55-20 loss to Oklahoma in the 2020 Cotton Bowl, a game in which Florida had 60 available players. The 2020 season also saw Florida lose to LSU, a contest in which the Tigers had 54 available players.

Usage of the verb also can specifically reference general excuse making with unfounded swagger, often to the point of discounting the value or quality of an available roster.
“Man, At least we can count on our coach not to Mullen our way through this game”

“•Coach, tell us why you lost today?
- well I won’t Mullen to you. We just got beat. It was an important game and we were proud of the guys we fielded.”

“I would invite their team to our bowl but I really don’t want them Mullening. Who do we know that would just show up and play instead of Mullening it in”
by Gatorswearjeanshorts January 1, 2021
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When there is a person who is so annoying that you get sick whenever you are around them
Man, that guy just gave me mullenitis
by Shut up, me espanolish February 10, 2017
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being so drunk that you take off your pants and then throw up into them
Dick: Dude! Jim straight up pulled a mullen last night cuz he thought his pants were a garbage can!

Sally: Party!
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When you're at a bar or pub and you sneakishly leave w/o paying your tab and/or saying goodbye to any of your homey's and homette's. This tactic usually consists of exiting through windows, scaling walls, doors, gates or roofs for the big get-away!
A men's softball team is out drinking after a game, and a couple pitcher's and Jägerbomb's later, they look over to their teammate and he's no where to be found! Hence, he just pulled a Mullen!
by str8_clown1n December 8, 2016
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