The primary reason for showering toilet seats and bathroom floors just after waking up from a nightmare about exploding in a sewage treatment plant and never being able to have sex again. Three times in twenty years of marriage wasn't enough.
Marsha; I'm so sick of cleaning the bathroom after you, damn it!
John; It's not my fault I keep telling you, it's the morning wood!
Marsha; Right, dead eye! I'd give you a mop but you'll probably wipe the den. I wish you morning wouldn't!
John; It's not my fault I keep telling you, it's the morning wood!
Marsha; Right, dead eye! I'd give you a mop but you'll probably wipe the den. I wish you morning wouldn't!
by Martha Stewbird April 20, 2011
Morning wood is when u wake up in the morning to a dick longer than usual. But u don't always get it in the morning. u get it 3 - 5 times while u sleep. It's actually healthy if u get them bc it means u have moderate blood flow. if u got that big dick for hours and u haven't jerked off then u got problems and u gotta see a doc bout ur dick. Some techniques that are used to soften the wood are to flex ur thighs and ass cheeks, pee, drink less water before bed, stand up for two minutes, and getting that pickle under some cold water. u don't want to go to school/work without coffee bc u spilled it with ur wood.
Dad: holy shit! son! what did u watch last night!
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
by TheGuyYouGoToForThisKindaStuff December 06, 2017
Today i woke up for my morning date... but then i got morning wood...
I hope it goes away quickly before i meet here!
I hope it goes away quickly before i meet here!
by SushiTrash July 07, 2018
The erection that men will have in the morning, just after they wake up. It's the way a mans body says "Wake up, or I will annoy the shit out of you."
Person: "Well, you're awake early."
Man:"I had to wake up because my morning wood wouldn't let me go back to sleep.."
Man:"I had to wake up because my morning wood wouldn't let me go back to sleep.."
by IInSSyNc February 22, 2014
When you say good morning to someone with the surname "Wood". Initially it will sound like you are talking about a morning erection.
by hdver January 18, 2012
A morning erection that is naturally caused as the brains enters the REM-deep sleep phase. At this stage, the body's skeletal muscle structure relaxes and causes hypervasodilation in the capillaries of the body, resulting in said erection.
After sleeping so soundly and having a great night's rest, it is no surprise to wake up with an erection.
by Dr.Pascalle December 03, 2004
Something you would usually fucking wake up too and can't stop it and you beat the shit out of your meat. Sad nibba hours.
by ETD420_nibba May 20, 2020