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logged in 

Being ready to do something. Usually poised in the form of a question to see if someone is ready to go. It can also apply to being in the right mind set to go somewhere. Usually asked before a social function or get together.
"Hey man I can't wait for this party Are you logged in?"
"No man I need to take some shots then I'll be logged in"
logged in by HobbyLover November 1, 2013
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A one legged man in an arse kicking contest. 

To describe a useless object or person.
About as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest...

one legged man in an ass kicking contest 

Attempting to accomplish a goal (kick ass) with some possible success only to wind up falling on your own ass. Having to try harder than the average person to reach the same success. A repeated accomplishment followed up by repeated embarrassing failures.
Melvin was a good looking guy but his halitosis made the women gag, he was about as successful with dating as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest 

To be so busy, that you will never finish your job
"There is no way I can finish that too!" "Im busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!"

Do one legged ducks swim in circles? 

If someone asks if an answer is correct, and its clearly obvious to everyone it is, then the retort is "do one legged ducks swim in circles?"
"Is the sky blue?"
"Do one legged ducks swim in circles?"

Do one legged ducks swim in circles? 

See Does a bear shit in the woods?
"She just bit my head off. She PMS-ing?"
"Do one legged ducks swim in circles?"

Do one legged ducks swim in circles? 

If someone is trying to proove a point , but really has no idea what they are arguing , they might use this phrase "Do one legged ducks swim in circles?", it will throw the opposition for a while until the realise that no they dont , that would be stupid , thus is only good for short term evasion.

subject change is recommended before they realise :)
Fred:"so you actually understand quantum physics??"
Sam:"Does a duck with one leg swim in circles??"
Fred:"umm ??"
Sam:"look at the weather!!"
..
..
much later ...
Fred :" hey wait a minute , no !!"