hteb78's definitions

A one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

To describe a useless object or person.

About as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest...

by hteb78 November 27, 2012

Your best bib and tucker

Your best/smartest cloths.

1) John: "Hey Bill, What's the dress code for the works dinner dance?"

Bill: " Your best bib and tucker mate".

2) " Tommy had is first job interview today, he looked so Handsom all dressed in his best bib and tucker".

by hteb78 August 18, 2017

A Pouderd Prune

An old lady trying to look younger by applying alot of makeup to her ageing skin, looks like someone has put face powder on a prune.

When ninety year old Betty dolled herself up for the over sixtys club, she used so much foundation on her face she looked like a pouderd prune.

by hteb78 July 8, 2023

Since God was a boy

The expression "since God was a boy" is a humorous and exaggerated way of saying "a very long time." It implies that an event or situation has been happening for so long that it's been around since the beginning of time, or even since God's youth. It's not meant to be taken literally, as it's a common idiom used to emphasize duration.

Q. "How long has that been there?"

A. "Ages, since God was a boy"

by hteb78 May 18, 2025

Jelly Ladder

To describe a useless object or person

About as useful as a Jelly ladder........

by hteb78 November 27, 2012

Leg of Salmon

A leg of salmon is usually used as a joke in the work place and is generally used to test the gullibility of a new employee. It starts off by the manager or someone of senior authority asking the unsuspecting employee to carry out a personal favour for them. In this case the boss has asked the new employee if he/she minds going to the fish mongers to collect the leg of salmon that the boss had ordered earlier. Wanting to impress his/hers new boss the new employee (not giving a second thought of what he/she has been asked to do) willingly obliges to go on the errand only to be told by the fishmonger (in the tone of 1+1=2) that salmon don't have legs and return back to their place of work (usually to be greeted by hysterical laughter) looking as pink as a salmon.

Boss: "Jimmy"
Jimmy: "Yes Sir."
Boss: "Could I ask a favour?"
Jimmy: "Certainly Sir."
Boss: "The CEO has called a meeting this afternoon and I have ordered a leg of salmon from the fishmongers over the road, please could you collect it for me, as I wont have time after the meeting. All you have to say is "I have come to collect the leg of salmon reserved for Mr Smith".
Jimmy: "Oh yes Sir. I'll do it straight away Sir."

by hteb78 October 19, 2014

Flumpette

A woman usually in her late forties who has totally let her self go and doesn't care.

They are usually very overwait, very ugly, wear scruffy frumpy clothing and have very poor hygiene standards.

They generally live alone usually on a run down council estate, most are to lazy to work so they live off benefits, which is spent on beer, cigarettes and unhealthy takeaways.

Woman 1: "OMG, you'll never guess who I bumped into at the chippy."

Woman 2: "Who?"

Woman 1: "That Sally that used to go to the over forties club, I havnt seen her for years, I hardly recognised her, she's really let herself go, she's put on loads weight and her hair hadn't been washed for weeks she looks like a right Flumpette these days."

Woman 2: Oh I remember her, She's known down the estate as "Stinky Sally"

by hteb78 August 9, 2023