10 definitions by hteb78

To Darken the Doorstep is when you go to someone's home and you cast a shadow over their doorstep. It usually used to describe the action of someone you know and haven't seen for a while unexpectedly turns up at your home or it's something you tell an unwanted visitor not to do ever again.
Sue: "OMG, you never guess who had the nerve to darken the doorstep this morning."
Pat: "Who?"

Sue: "Jo!"
Pat: "Jo, Jo who?"
Sue: " you know the one that coursed all that trouble at my party."
Pat: " Oooh! That Jo, haven't seen her around here for ages, did you invite her in?"
Sue: " No I did not! Told her to clear off and to never darken my doorstep again."
by hteb78 November 17, 2017
Get the Darken the doorstep mug.
To describe a useless object or person
About as useful as a Jelly ladder........
by hteb78 November 22, 2012
Get the Jelly Ladder mug.
A leg of salmon is usually used as a joke in the work place and is generally used to test the gullibility of a new employee. It starts off by the manager or someone of senior authority asking the unsuspecting employee to carry out a personal favour for them. In this case the boss has asked the new employee if he/she minds going to the fish mongers to collect the leg of salmon that the boss had ordered earlier. Wanting to impress his/hers new boss the new employee (not giving a second thought of what he/she has been asked to do) willingly obliges to go on the errand only to be told by the fishmonger (in the tone of 1+1=2) that salmon don't have legs and return back to their place of work (usually to be greeted by hysterical laughter) looking as pink as a salmon.
Boss: "Jimmy"
Jimmy: "Yes Sir."
Boss: "Could I ask a favour?"
Jimmy: "Certainly Sir."
Boss: "The CEO has called a meeting this afternoon and I have ordered a leg of salmon from the fishmongers over the road, please could you collect it for me, as I wont have time after the meeting. All you have to say is "I have come to collect the leg of salmon reserved for Mr Smith".
Jimmy: "Oh yes Sir. I'll do it straight away Sir."
by hteb78 October 19, 2014
Get the Leg of Salmon mug.
A term used to describe something that is impossible to do
1) it's like trying to sculpt water.

2) I have more chance of sculpting water then....
by hteb78 November 22, 2012
Get the Sculpting Water mug.
a term once used by barbers to politely ask a customer if they would like to buy a packet of condoms.
Years ago it was illegal for shops to trade on a Sunday and most shops only opened for a few hours on a Sat morning also most local chemists only opened Mon - Fri. Men would often visit the barbers on a Friday evening to tidy them selves up for a date or evening in with the wife etc. the barber would usually offer the condoms as an add on sale at the end, by saying either "Would Sir like anything for the weekend?" or "something for the weekend, Sir?"
by hteb78 September 14, 2013
Get the something for the weekend, Sir? mug.