loan officer
1.) A high-school educated former copier or used car salesman who figured out that he could make money for doing very little by acting as a middleman between banks and even less educated customers (borrowers). He or she drives a Porche or BMW, but its leased just like his house. Borrowers will fight tooth and nail over their proposed 1% fee for 2 weeks to a month worth of effort, but have no problem paying their real estate agent 3% for a couple days of local driving and filling out boilerplate forms.
2.) Scapegoats for the major banks and Wall Street money men who actually create the loan programs costing people their homes that you see on TV.
You can find a LO at nearly any after-hour event that contains any two of the following: alcohol, sluts, cocaine, Las Vegas, suckers, bluetooth headsets, yachts, any aspect of society emphasizing appearance over substance.
2.) Scapegoats for the major banks and Wall Street money men who actually create the loan programs costing people their homes that you see on TV.
You can find a LO at nearly any after-hour event that contains any two of the following: alcohol, sluts, cocaine, Las Vegas, suckers, bluetooth headsets, yachts, any aspect of society emphasizing appearance over substance.
Even though my local bank branch laughed at me when I asked them, my loan officer buddy Joe was able to get me into a new $800 grand house despite the fact that I have no job, no savings to use as a down payment, my FICO score is negative, I'm on several mandatory sex offender lists, and he knows I plan to cook meth in the garage. But Joe's a fucking douchebag because it turns out he made almost $500 dollars off me.
loan officer by Elias Creed May 6, 2007
