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I'll tell mine you're gay 

The best lyrics ever (also not homophobic at all, regardless of what straight people think)

I'll tell you when you're younger

1. An incredibly annoying way of stating that you just don't want to tell them something; might be for personal reasons. (Knowing that you cannot get younger; it therefore means one will never tell them what you are referring to.)
Caitlynn: Why won't you look at my face when we make love!?

Me: *turns away and thinks to self "ah crap, here we go again... c'mon, think of something!* ...I'll tell you when you're younger...

I'll tell you that shit for free 

when something is so obvious to one person that he will not even charge, for it being to sed to a companion friend or aquaintace.
tom: what do you think of tim's mam?
muthar: she's a propa slag, i'll tell you that shit for free!
tom: thanks muthar you're so genorous!

I'll tell you what and such 

Saying originating from Belmont County, OH. Used to begin a story or after something that promotes bragging rights in a rural or backwoods boondocks area. A similar saying is That's what's up.
Ex. I put a 3" lift kit and some 31's on my Chevy Tracker the other day, I'll tell you what and such.

Ex. I caught a catfish the other night. It was a big'un, I'll tell you what and such.

I'll tell you when you're older 

A phrase used when something can't be explained to a child
7-year-old: *catches adolescent brother watching porn* What is this?
Brother: I'll tell you when you're older.

i'll tell you the hell 

a smart assed response used when someone has asked 'wat the hell?'. of course this is followed by wat is actually the hell.
i.e. Gabby walks in on her sister running about her room like a mad woman.

Gabby: Gwenn, wat the hell?!?!? you look like a retard!

Gwenn: the hell? you want the hell??? i'll tell you the hell. i just ate a bucket of sugar with a shovel!

Gabby: *sigh*