GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
by Antonio El Pajero August 1, 2020
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Like a fucktard but think goonier. The epitomy of hick moron with no common sense.
"My boyfriends relatives are a bunch of goontards"
by Shannon (CREAM) November 3, 2006
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Usually defines someone who has no physical impairment, but acts like a mental impairment exists or extreme gylcemic spike causing someone to spaz out.
by NotYourShelia December 31, 2015
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