What the lady of the lake presented to Arthur, King of the Britains.
The who?
The Britains.
Who're the Britains?
You - I - We all are!
And I am your king.
Well I didn't vote for you.
You don't vote for kings
Oh, well I could be king then.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no base for a system of government. Let's face it: If I went around saying I was emperor because some broad launched a scimitar at me, they'd cart me away!
by emiolie February 25, 2004
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Excalibur was given to Arthur by the Lady of the Lake AFTER he had already become King of Brittan by taking the sword from the stone and anvil outside of the church in London.
Excalibur was given to Arthur by the Lady of the Lake along with a magic scabbard which provented him from ever loosing blood
by Linux System Message October 18, 2004
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The Excalibur is when you plunge your phallic sword into the butt of an unsuspecting damsel. In surprise, she clentches her quivering ass cheeks together, clamping your meat saber in the dark recesses of her "dragon's lair." Now, you must choose your destiny by pulling your sausage machete out of her butt jungle. If you can accomplish such a feat, you will become the king you were born to be. And then hoagie slap her with your shit-covered dick.
"Hey, Wanda, why are you sitting on a hemorrohid donut?"
"Because some gas station attentant performed the Excalibur on me in the women's restroom and became a king. Heavy lies the crown, and heavy lies my rectum, which is dripping out of my anus."

"Hey, Carla, can you pick my sphincter up? It fell on the floor after a hobo did the Excalibur to me last night."
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One of the greatest weapons of the deity named Satou Kazuma, the deity of true gender equality, the king of pantsu thieves, and the holder of the greatest weapon known to male, female, bisexual, homosexual, transexual, and pansexual: Chunchunmaru.

It is also the smallest weapon that is no longer than 2 inches max.
Person A: Bro! Bro!
Person B: Yes, bro.
Person A: I have an identical sword similar to the our diety, Kazuma, bro!
Person B: What is that, bro?
Person A: The great Excalibur, bro!
Person B: This is why you're still a virgin, bro.
by Onii-chan Senpai May 29, 2019
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The name of an all powerful sword in soul eater that according to legend is very powerful but in reality he is just a pain in the ass that looks like a peguin that has a top hat and a cane that got its face smashed. He also loves to say FOOL! and is the best charicter ever.
Me: now presenting the pain in the ass excalibur!

Excalibur : FOOL!
me: ( trying not to throw him off of a mountain)
by I'm a ghost potato February 14, 2017
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When you have your penis stuck while having sex with an Irish girl and you have to pull out.

Only the true king can wield EXCALIBUR.
The other day I took a flight with Ryan Air and ended up Excaliburing the stewardess....
by BUKKNASTEAA April 12, 2019
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Warframe's poster boy. Literally everyone picks him as a starter.
fuckin uhh...dave or smth:''Hey bro,I just started this new game called Warframe!''
dave's friend:''What warframe did you pick?''
dave:''I picked the cool sword guy.''
dave's friend:''Excalibur? Nice choice but literally everyone picks him. Shoulda been original.''
by that one guy with autism December 26, 2022
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