King of the Douches, the biggest douche in all of the land. Every
time he tries to talk a giant stream of douchewater squirts out. These douche squirts are often accompanied by his lies. Things like "I love you.", "Sex can wait.", and "I value you as a human being." It is important that you do not fall victim to any of these lies, or he will hit it, quit it, and toss you to the curb. And you will be yet another victim of his awe-inspiring douchedom. Douche Douchington is a rare species of Douchebag, which does not require
food, but instead, requires hours and hours of the universal douchebag passtime, Call of Duty. In fact, the only thing he loves more than pussy is, indeed, his
x-box. If it were at all humanly possible, he would
stick his dirty dick into the x-box slot and fuck it's brains out. The
Duke of Doucheville is a jack of many trades, and his varied talents include: playing Rock
Band, playing paintball, playing Guitar
Hero, lying to women, living with his
parents, and not having a job. It is suggested that you avoid Douche Douchington at ALL TIMES.
Men who are exposed to him often contract the Douche Disease, a highly common, seemingly incurable illness which will turn you into a walking, breathing pussy washer. Women who are exposed are generally not susceptible to this disease, but must ensure that they protect themselves from the other awful viruses, such as
AIDS,
crabs, and jock itch, which
may be contracted when in his douchey presence.
