Crotchphone 

A device that has mummified, stupefied almost every human on the planet.
You conditioned souls would call this device the smartphone.

I can't stop staring at my crotch cause my crotchphone is permanently affixed to it.

Crotchphone by 1666 November 1, 2017

crotchwhore 

a rotten skanky slut; hooker; tramp
one who sells her body for illicit substances.

Yeah! She definitely looks like a crotchwhore to me!

crotchwhore by hunnybunny666 January 5, 2011

Crotchbone 

the low-key way of saying boner

Person 1: Hey look! He totally has a crotchbone!
Person 2: Haha oh my god

Crotchbone by crackfairychristina May 2, 2018