Crap Fap 

Alternate slang for the act of masturbation or "fapping" but using diarrhea as lubricant.

Jack N. Off: "Masturbating is getting too expensive these days. I can't afford KY."
Ijer Kit: "Start crap fapping. Diarrhea is free, isn't it?"

Crap Fap by Ching Mang Wong February 16, 2009

Crap Fap 

A take on "holy crap." But in this case, more to do with self-masturbation. Used when someone does or says a complete lie or exaggeration to make self better than he/she seems.

Joe: I have a weekend job.
Jim: Oh yea? I volunteer at the shelter. What do you do?
Joe: *thinking hard on his feet, makes something up* I'm a burlesque dancer named Emerald Princess. I do all this for charity, of course.
Jim: ... Crap Fap.

Crap Fap by KatoDado September 6, 2009

Crap N' Fap 

The act of taking a dump and then masturbating.

Greg, "Hey John you wanna hang today?"

John, "Yea man, I'll be over as soon as I do a quick Crap N' Fap"

Crap N' Fap by Fapking October 30, 2011

fap crap and nap 

Fap crap and nap comprises the three most important facets to a daily regimen. Masturbation, defecation and siesta. It should be performed in that order for maximum efficacy. It is often utilised by university students as a means to maximise brainpower where required.

Student 1: Mate class sucks today, I don't know how much longer I can endure it.
Student 2: Yeah bro might be time to ditch and hit that FCN.
Student 1: Yeah a fap crap and nap will definitely perk me up.

Both students receive high distinctions despite missing 2/3 of class for the semester.

fap crap and nap by Dr_Rhodez November 25, 2016

Crap and Fap 

To use the excuse of having to take a dump as an opportunity to masturbate

Josh: Hey I'll be right back; gotta poo.

Spencer: Heh, I bet he's doing a crap and fap.

Crap and Fap by JMGraham January 5, 2009

crap n' fap 

When on the john, taking a shit, you suddenly have the urge to masturbate. Prevalent in adolescent males.

I was taking a shit, then out of nowhere I got a boner and proceeded to crap n' fap.

crap n' fap by ipodtouchmasttterr May 20, 2009

Fap crap

Leftover "stuff" from you fapping. You don't clean and it eventually dries up onto the floor/bed/whatever.

I gotta clean my bed. I've got so much fap crap on those sheets...

Fap crap by Retard_Ryan March 9, 2023