Capitalist Chud
A flag-waving online warrior who fiercely defends multi-billion dollar corporations from his 2004 Ford F-150, fully convinced that corporate tax cuts are the only thing keeping his local dollar store afloat. Despite living in a town where the factory closed down 20 years ago, he opposes labor unions and public infrastructure, blaming the local potholes on "socialism" and "woke spending."
He firmly believes he is a future millionaire currently being held back by taxes, yet his primary sources of financial wisdom are Facebook memes, conspiracy theories, and yelling at the TV during commercial breaks.
He firmly believes he is a future millionaire currently being held back by taxes, yet his primary sources of financial wisdom are Facebook memes, conspiracy theories, and yelling at the TV during commercial breaks.
“If you liberals didn't spend all your money on electric cars, we'd still have the gold standard,” ranted the capitalist chud, whose credit card just got declined at a gas pump.
Capitalist Chud by my-real_name July 4, 2026
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