After you have done the Canadian Bottle Opener, you stand up putting on all your hockey gear except the pants. Climb on to your Zamboni inspired couch. As loud as possible you yell “Pools Open”. Jumping off the Zamboni inspired couch like a high diver yelling “Cannon Ball”, land, driving your Tim Hortons Tim Bit in their Tim Hortons Chocolate Donut Hole. This will create the biggest splash possible. This act requires extreme precision and should only be attempted by professionals, as an unsteady partner or eye can cause serious harm to one’s body.
So last night after I gave Nancy the most perfect Canadian Bottle Opener, I saw my chance and took it, giving her the biggest splashiest Canadian Cannon Ball ever.
by Artie J Saves December 23, 2025
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