1. A shit. Dump. Poop.
Caca. Doodie.
Butt cruller. Colon Phó. Dookie. Craptain’
s Log. Turd. Et shitera.
(A color shift, or word-play on “Rhapsody in Blue,” the title of George Gershwin’
s iconic,
jazz-infused composition for solo piano and orchestra - which only a perverse individual would use as a metaphor for taking a gigantic emergency dump-a-roo.)
2. The title of McBackdoornugget Gershwin’
s not-as-iconic, hyper-sexualized composition for amplified, prepared solo contrabassoon and didjeridoodoo ensemble.
(M. Gershwin was George Gershwin’
s conjoined twin who lived inside his transverse colon. He lived until age 14, shortly after celebrating his bar mitzvah.)
1. Salomé von Schtankenburg: “Carthage! You’re 10 minutes late for rehearsal AGAIN. What’
s going ON with you?!?”
Carthage McFartface: “BISSSHH I WAS MAYKINA RHAPSODY IN BROWN FOUR YOR INFOURMASHION
BISH WEN YOU GOTSSA GOE BISSH YOU GOTTA GO NOW GETOUDDAMYWAYBISSSHHH AYIM NOWW TEN. PLUS ONE MINITZ. LAYTE.”
2. (From The Contrabassonist’
s Weekly):
“The seventh-best recording of M. Gershwin’
s ‘Rhapsody in Brown’ features the undeniable virtuosity of the
legendary Inuit contrabassonist Qalnuuuuuuuknuuuknuuk Smith, whose deep, truly smelly, scatological
tone nevertheless penetrates the hearts — and clits — of his listeners. Hats off to the didjeridoodooists, too.”