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Blow the J 

When a group of 2-3 people hang out doing nothing in particular; Sitting around bantering when one is supposed to be working; see also: dick around
You ready to finish that spreadsheet?" "Fuck that. The boss isn't here, so let's just blow the j for awhile.
Blow the J by Mr. Freedom March 6, 2011
Urban Dictionary Merch

the toothless blow job 

a proper blow job without using your teeth.
dude i got the toothless blow job last night and it was amazing.

the kristin blow job

The first attribute that makes a kristin blow job different from your ordinary blow job is that it can only be distributed by females named kristin (kirsten is also an acceptable name). Getting crazy dome from kristin is just like getting it from anyone else, however what makes it so special is that she gives it to you from the shower. So, while you are getting your dick nice and wet, she is getting her hair nice and wet. Kristin must be able to multi-task, because she needs to shampoo her hair and caress/suck on your wiener. The kristin blow job can also be a normal blow job given in a department store's dressing room.
"Damn, what's the deal with that pecan nigger"
"I know he is eating up all the nuts"
"Yeah, that fucker!"
"I won't hate on him though"
"Why not?"
"He has been getting the kristin blow job on a consistent basis"
"Shit, nigga got game!"

blow job on the rocks 

The act of administering fellatio with an ice cube in one's mouth.
Sally gave me an awesome blow job on the rocks.
blow job on the rocks by sala January 17, 2003

blow job on the rocks 

when one's marriage is in peril and the wife performs oral sex on her spouse to rectify the situation.
we had a big argument last night,then she gave me ablow job on the rocks.

The Dynamics of Blow Job Physics 

Have you even been getting head and the girl blowing you has looked up and asked “are you almost there yet?” all the while your thinking “you just started 5 minutes ago?” only to look at the clock and see an hour has passed?
This is not simply a matter of “time fly’s by when you’re having a good time”. There is a relatively simple mathematical explanation for this that also answers why some 20 year old girls look like they are in their 40s.

1. Firstly understand that like matter, time cannot be created or destroyed.

We can start by giving a Blow Job a scalar quantity to help mathematically differentiate a good blow job and bad blow job.

2. The Scalars are as follows; 0.1 – 1.9

0.1 being the absolute best possible blow job

3. The BJ/Time Equation: BJ*T= TAm

BJ= Blow Job scalar (as discussed above)

T= Real time passed

TAm= Time aged, male

Example: Your receive a decently good blow job at an estimated scalar quantity of 0.7 for sixty minutes

0.7*60= 42

Meaning that in sixty minutes of receiving head you have only aged 42 minutes, however as aforementioned time cannot be created or destroyed so the 18 minutes you lost in that hour are carried over to the girl blowing you.

So in sixty minutes of her blowing you she’s aged 78 minutes.

This explains why some women in their 20’s look like they’re in their 40’s ; they’ve given tonnes of amazing blow jobs over the past 20 years of her life, thus aging them significantly.
Dude 1: Dude you look wicked youthful
Dude 2: Yeah Jessica must have blown me back 2 years in this week alone
Dude 1: Aw yeah, Jessica loves giving sucking dick and it really shows. She amazing at it.
Dude 2: Yeah, its a ashame she looks like shes 84 though.
Dude 1: well i guess those are just the dynamics of blow job physics

giving the ghost a blow job 

When you are sitting in class and keep nodding off so that your head slides forward and then you jerk back awake so that it looks like you're giving a blow job to the invisible person in front of you.
"I saw you over there giving the ghost a blow job"
More from Urban Dictionary
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
Word of the Day on September 24, 2026
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026
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