Bearded hammer
Bearded hammer is when you take a very large shite after eating to much lobster rolls from MnS , and as it is released it gets caught in your gouch hair , hence bearded hammer!
Luke: you ok beardy?
Beardy: Noooo Mr Luke you hunk of a man! Iv lived like a king and eaten to much from Marks & Spencer’s again and given myself a bearded hammer.
Luke: That sounds really bad
Beardy: aye , looks like a hedgehog stuck behind ma baw bags! But it’s ok my sneddykins will fish it out, Sir Luke of deliciousness .
Beardy: Noooo Mr Luke you hunk of a man! Iv lived like a king and eaten to much from Marks & Spencer’s again and given myself a bearded hammer.
Luke: That sounds really bad
Beardy: aye , looks like a hedgehog stuck behind ma baw bags! But it’s ok my sneddykins will fish it out, Sir Luke of deliciousness .
Bearded hammer by HolmanTheDaddy May 19, 2026
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