Top definition
Sarcastic slang term used to refer to a particularly ineffective/incompetent female firefighter. Assets are often protected and given false praise because no chief or administrator has the balls to terminate a female who can't do the job.

After years of being sheltered from reality and held to a lower standard than their male couterparts, the assets will often believe the bullshit said about them and develop a false sense of worth. At that point you're stuck with them forever.
The chief told the newspaper that Kathy is a valued asset to the department. What a bunch of bullshit, the stupid twat finds a new way to fuck up at every fire.
by IsThisNameBeingUsed August 27, 2010
Get the mug
Get a Asset mug for your cat Julia.
A person's body, as in boobs, butt, hips, etc.
Damn, that girl has some nice assets!
by Allie March 21, 2005
Get the mug
Get a assets mug for your friend Manafort.
Having a nice set of boobs and a nice ass. This definition is derived from splitting apart the word "asset" to get "ass" and "set".
Dave: "Your sister has nice assets!"
Tim: "Yeah she's going to have back problems one day."
Dave: "And when she falls on her ass, she just bounces back up!"
Tim: "Easy now..."
by M-Sizzle Brindizzle December 29, 2008
Get the mug
Get a asset mug for your coworker Sarah.
1. Anything owned or is owed to a person, business, company, or group.

2. a CIA assassin
1. a building, car, or money are all examples of assets.
2. an asset was sent to kill john the other day.
by 3242935234 January 27, 2008
Get the mug
Get a asset mug for your friend Nathalie.
when your ass is your best attribute, this could also happen by default if your chest is as flat as a wall
erika is very flat but has a large asset so its all good.
by tman March 30, 2005
Get the mug
Get a asset mug for your cat Yasemin.
When a woman who is storing her Moneybrallet style (cash tucked into a bra) is both showing some cleavage and also doesn't have the money tucked all the way into her bra, so some or most of the cash is visible in the cleavage. This is especially the case when the bills being stored are tips accumulated on the job. This can be done for several reasons:
1) Strippers stuffing their bra with extra money to make the other strippers jealous
2) To deter any gay muggers from trying to take your money, cause let's face it, if they know it's stored in your boobs, they won't want it anymore.
3) Waitresses with boyfriends who know that if they leave their assets sticking out of their assets, their boyfriend will always be able to remind them where they put their money in case they forget.
4) Women who are so desperate for attention that they need EVERYONE to stare at their cleavage, including gay jews.
Your assets are showing, and so are your other assets.
by schnappoulop April 09, 2014
Get the mug
Get a Assets mug for your Facebook friend Paul.