Shit wank

Shit Wank is an Australian record label who specialize in esoteric music genres, including speedcore, terrorcore, chiptune, shitcore, noise, horrorcore, and breakcore. They are more predominately known for making harsh music with highly suggestive and nsfw album art and extremely innapropriate and vulgar lyrics, resulting in an 18+ only website fo their label.

Some of the artist on this label include Passenger of Shit (who is the founder of ShitWank), Shitting Whore, Dj California Crisis, Ethereal Girl, Hitler Buttsecks, and Suicide Rap Orgy.

Have you listened to the new albums released by Shit Wank?

No, I dont listen to them. I'd prefer to keep my ear drums

by EdgyDabs420 January 2, 2018

Wank Window

A wank window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse 'performing art' videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. Mission control usually grants wank windows when the wife has gone to Tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. Wank windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.

Courier: I tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn't answer the door. I rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant twat!
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.

Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.

by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012

Wank Shuffle

Imagining an object of desire during masturbation and then deciding to switch focus on a different source of inspiration. E.g An ex-girlfriend gets replaced in imagery for the office hottie. Beware to not allow an image of a grotty rotter in while locking on

I can't dedicate this one to one woman, I'll put a few on wank shuffle

by Nested Elevator January 6, 2018

Freedom Wank

When a relationship is dead & buried, release those feelings of sadness & heart break...
Knock out a freedom wank & celebrate a new chapter, the return to single, the return to FREEDOMMMMM!!!

Note: Think of someone hotter than your ex.

Guy 1: Dude, are you o.k? You were totally depressed about splitting up with your ex.

Gut 2: Man I'm cool! I knocked out a Freedom Wank & now I am FRRREEEEeeee! Yeeee haaaaa!

by Fake_SJB October 15, 2010

Beast wank

The act of spaffing into a carrier bag, 6 or 7 times a day. Usually performed by a spaff beast.

Craig, you spaff beast. Stop having a beast wank into that Sainsbury's bag for life and come for a beer.

by RossMcC March 30, 2011

Fifa wank

When you score on FIFA and you try and have a wank and finish before the celebrations end.

I scored a banger ye and attempted a FIFA wank.

by Brayshaw lad November 27, 2019

Wank warden

When in a large group of people and 1/8 of them being the commander of all the penises among them this being the wank warden

John: did you go to last summers camp I heard Jerry was the wank warden

by Backedpotatoenoises February 6, 2021