Turd Burglar

A person who climbs in through an unlocked window to steal someone's fresh turd before they've even had a chance to flush it.

An dedicated Turd Burglar will then wait for the ideal moment to throw his stinking, hot, wet, prize; through the open window of a passing car.

You'll find at least one Turd Burglar in every large town or city

'Where's it gone. Why is the window open?'

'The turd burglar. He's struck again.'

(Hysterical Screaming)

by travisbickle86 February 18, 2018

turd egg

noun. A "Type 1 " stool on the Bristol Stool scale. Usually very round or egg shaped, painful and difficult to pass. They make a small and fast " Plop" when hitting the surface of toilet water. They require little to no wiping.

I pooped out 4 turd eggs. they were tiny like robbin's eggs and hard.

by Corpsehustler July 29, 2011

turd surgeon

Someone who enjoys faecal investigation.

Fred: I heard Mark likes to play with his shit before he flushes it.
Mike: yeah, he's a real turd surgeon!

by dan1582 September 6, 2013

Turd Flapper

n: Someone who flaps their lips nonstop but nothing but shit comes out of their mouth. The "shit" could be gossip, half truths, misinformation, or lies. Very common in social clicks and the work place.
v: The act or art of Turd Flapping.

Dude, who is the biggest Turd Flapper lately? (In a whisper, Homelslice be like Jeff G.)
Agree Bro! Agree! SO much shit comes out of his mouth, I made him a toilet paper tie.

Yo Dawg, I think she considers Kegel exercises and Turd Flapping during meetings exercise. Homegirl needs a yoga mat.

by kungfumermaid September 23, 2016

Turd Bundy

A guy who likes to abduct & stab turds. He is employed by London Sewerage System & likes to sneak into public restroom looking for as many floating turdmarine as possible. His family believes this is his way of releasing steam, and that if this was taken away from him he might start stabbing people & their pets. He is a serial turdstabber.

Here goes Turd Bundy, watch out!

by Jumbled McGobbledygook May 31, 2021

Poor Turd

The Porter-stained excrement that is released from Mark the Twink after William Gilligan relives his adventures at the Jersey shore. Usually as the result of Mark giving Will-Gill the Buffalo Eye. It is best described as gross and off-putting.

Mark- *gives William Gilligan the Buffalo eye*
Will-Gill- *instantly erect and also hungry* "You know what to do buddy."
*45 minutes pass*
Will-Gill- "You know Mark, you should really get an awesome tan..."
Mark- "I should have never gave you the Buffalo Eye. I have to drop this Poor Turd in the toilet and take 2 showers now."
Will-Gill- "Well, I used to work at Lots so..."
Will-Gill and Mark chuckle together

by Dusty Scott November 24, 2017

turd-purse

In reference to a person's anal cavity "rectum".

You're friend can be such a turd-purse sometimes.

by Preybird April 12, 2016