Closet Commando. A person who romanticizes military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.
John boy talks a big game about his AR—15 and likes posing in his tactical vest but he’s just a closet commando
by Rook May 20, 2024
Someone who acts generous during their hours on a work shift. However, they don’t act very civil during their own time outside of their occupation.
“Wow! I noticed Kyle dosen’t seem nice most of the time. But, when he is a work. He behaves well, & is very friendly. He definitely is a “Closet Jerk”
by Trippyness211 May 09, 2021
someone who says they're really straight (them being in the closet) but in reality, they're gayer than all rainbows combined, but they don't wanna admit it (hence the term crystal closet, because everyone except them can see through their closeted behavior. the trans equivalent for this would be "egg".)
x: have you seen z? they're so gay it's turning me homophobic, like come out already!
y: typical crystal closet behavior, they'll grow out of it (i hope)
z: IM NOT GAY ISTG
y: typical crystal closet behavior, they'll grow out of it (i hope)
z: IM NOT GAY ISTG
by Toh.gayest.show September 04, 2023
When a poof comes out the closet and grabs a queer Joe cunt and starts gaping his hole making him a paraplegic and ends up becoming his carer for the rest of his life.
by Jesuss Crrysst May 24, 2025