The fat, frumpy, lonely woman who works the front desk at most medical or dental offices whose sole purpose is to keep sales people from accessing the decision-maker. This woman despises anyone who’s thin enough to see their own feet and dresses in only the finest fashions from Dress Barn, Lane Bryant or Torrid. To say she’s plus sized would be like saying Lizzo suffers from anorexia.
The savvy sales professional knows the weakness of the desk pig.. which is food and candy. She is powerless against the sacred aroma of a Panera Pick Three and will melt in your hands if you get her the Cream of Broccoli soup and her own dozen of Krispy Creams.
She doesn’t wear a name tag but you can be certain that her name is Kathleen, Cindy, Sandy, and of course Karen. Beware of her powerful ability to rudely look past your well tailored dress clothes and obvious college degree, Thea etchings don’t impress her. The only conversation she will engage in will be centered around where lunch is coming from or when the next Magic Mike movie is coming out. Never try to discuss business, the weather or exercise with the Desk Pig. 🐷
Assume the desk pig has at least 4 children, is divorced or was never married, lives in subsidized housing, and has at least one butterfly tattoo on her kankle or her wrist with some type of motto like “Live free or Die” or “ Burger King next Exit.”
The savvy sales professional knows the weakness of the desk pig.. which is food and candy. She is powerless against the sacred aroma of a Panera Pick Three and will melt in your hands if you get her the Cream of Broccoli soup and her own dozen of Krispy Creams.
She doesn’t wear a name tag but you can be certain that her name is Kathleen, Cindy, Sandy, and of course Karen. Beware of her powerful ability to rudely look past your well tailored dress clothes and obvious college degree, Thea etchings don’t impress her. The only conversation she will engage in will be centered around where lunch is coming from or when the next Magic Mike movie is coming out. Never try to discuss business, the weather or exercise with the Desk Pig. 🐷
Assume the desk pig has at least 4 children, is divorced or was never married, lives in subsidized housing, and has at least one butterfly tattoo on her kankle or her wrist with some type of motto like “Live free or Die” or “ Burger King next Exit.”
Hey Craig, I called on Dr X’s Endo practice today for the 17th time but that goddamn desk pig is a relentlessly mean and nasty whore who’s already consumes my entire annual lunch budget. What do I do to get past her and sell a system? I’m trying to save teeth and improve lives out here but this beast is a real air thief!
by BizarreRideonTheFarSide April 20, 2023
Get the desk pig mug.by Thelunersun April 25, 2023
Get the Flute the pig mug."You are just in the first stages of becoming a FULL TIME BITCH, and will learn to push your inner desires to serve, to worship and become just a LOW INSIGNIFICANT SHIT PIGGY over the course of the following months."
"You covered in poop is just a means to an end, making sure you recognize you are a LOW HUMAN, needing to feel humble.
It makes me happy to see your progress and see how your brain is slowly making the transition towards being a SHIT PIG first and keeping your normal appearance just as front to the outside world."
"It is my duty to make inferior women find their place in life, and you will reward me by showing your Goddess how by being a FILTHY POOP COVERED PIG"
"You as a LOWER LIFE FORM will never achieve my superior status and as such you will serve, adore, worship those of a higher breed. You being a FILTHY SHIT PIG is just your given destiny, and as such you will make every effort to please, to serve and be an available toy for your superiors."
"It is time for you to just accept you are destined to be what you are, just a SERVANT PIG COVERED IN POOP AND PEE, while dedicating your life to please your Goddess and other superior women."
"You covered in poop is just a means to an end, making sure you recognize you are a LOW HUMAN, needing to feel humble.
It makes me happy to see your progress and see how your brain is slowly making the transition towards being a SHIT PIG first and keeping your normal appearance just as front to the outside world."
"It is my duty to make inferior women find their place in life, and you will reward me by showing your Goddess how by being a FILTHY POOP COVERED PIG"
"You as a LOWER LIFE FORM will never achieve my superior status and as such you will serve, adore, worship those of a higher breed. You being a FILTHY SHIT PIG is just your given destiny, and as such you will make every effort to please, to serve and be an available toy for your superiors."
"It is time for you to just accept you are destined to be what you are, just a SERVANT PIG COVERED IN POOP AND PEE, while dedicating your life to please your Goddess and other superior women."
by pooppiggy June 20, 2022
Get the Shit Pig mug.Unbreakable and unwavering trust. The strongest of trusts and faith in another. The trust a pig has in the mud to keep it cool while the sun is beating down upon it.
by Chicago Girl July 2, 2022
Get the Pig Trust mug.by pee675894320573956678954895 February 22, 2022
Get the green pig mug.the act of wrapping bacon around your dick and having sex with your girlfriend; using bacon as a condom and forcing your girlfriend to eat it after cumming; fucking your girlfriend so hard she squeals like a pig in his own shit
by SexyGod March 28, 2009
Get the angry pig mug.The petty crimes that cops prefer to enforce rather than the more heinous crimes that plague our society.
1. While responding to a reported rape or murder, the police officer stopped for some pig food and instead issued a parking ticket to a car that was missing its safety inspection sticker.
2. In the time it took the police officer to explain to a driver that he did not quite come to a complete stop at the stop sign, two women were raped and four murders took place; all cops care about anymore is getting that pig food.
2. In the time it took the police officer to explain to a driver that he did not quite come to a complete stop at the stop sign, two women were raped and four murders took place; all cops care about anymore is getting that pig food.
by Frankie Vee April 13, 2011
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