texas cattleman

This, amongst sexual maneuvers is the greatest of the great, but sadly, the rarest of the rare. It involves man's four best friends (except the dog of course): 1.) A well seasoned and cooked-to-perfection Texas style steak. 2.) A beautiful (preferably big-titted) girl of your choosing. 3.) Your favorite beer... and 4.) Head
The way it works is like this:
You're eating that perfect Texas-style steak, already an orgasm in and of itself. Meanwhile the beautiful (preferably big-titted) girl of your choosing is giving you head. But here's the rub (pun intended): she's massaging your balls, your "saddlebag" if you will, with another wonderful steak. Just as you get off she catches your manly secretions on her steak and consumes it while you simultaneously down that ice-cold favorite beer of yours.
This one can be for the ladies too, but it can get a little messy. Might I suggest steak-sauce as lubricant?

In heaven your manly secretions would actually be steak-sauce, but alas, we are mere mortals.

Oh, and real men incorporate the South Carolina into this. (See definition #8)
"Man, my girl was givin' me head the other day and I thought to myself, you know what this is missing? Steak and cervezas my friend... the Texas Cattleman."

Girl 1:"My boyfriend wanted me to rub his balls with a steak the other day... isn't that gross?"
Girl 2:"Oh no, that's hot, my boyfriend has be do it all the time. It's called the 'Texas Cattleman'. It gets me off every time."
by Bed Sharter October 03, 2006
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Texas Wristwatch

Wrapping your penis around your arm and showing people.
I was the YMCA last night, and I pulled out a Texas Wristwatch in front of all these kids!
by Nick December 12, 2003
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texas redbone

when you are having hardcore violent sex with alison, and she bleeds all the way through to her tail bone. originated from texas.
urgh alison is such a dirty hussy, she just did a texas redbone
by fraser mcdonald March 02, 2009
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Texas Cheeseburger

A prank involving a 400 threadcount pillowcase filled with diarrhea (soft stool). Typically a prank common to the Houston area and especially among sororities.
My Kappa Kappa sister gave her boyfriend a Texas Cheeseburger as an anniversary present after he got drunk and pooped in her closet last year.
by T-Winner July 10, 2009
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Jasper, Texas

town where the draging happened, just to note the three whites guys, none of them were from jasper, also some white guy got killed that morning dont remember who buy, also the week before that a white women was stabed to death buy a black guy Some people from the Jasper Texas area or other parts of deep east TX just mean (a slow news day).
Wow did you hear about Aruba day 417, must be a Jasper, Texas news day.
by Ickus Zozen September 06, 2005
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Texas Bigfoot

While having intercourse, one takes a dump on the others chest and steps in it, representing a foot print, and the shit like dirt. It also has to do with the legend of Bigfoot, which has attempted to be proven by either photos or footprints.
"So what happened with you and Mandy last night?"

"We went back to her apartment and i gave her a Texas Bigfoot!"
by MjolnirXVII July 27, 2009
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Texas Ranchhand

Perhaps the most elusive sex move North of the Rio Grande. It is an act in which, after penile hand relief, a couple partakes in anal fornication. Generally, a saddle is placed on the back of the woman (or catcher in the case of a gay orgy) and animal noises are made by both partners. After the clan sex, the man deficates in a plastic Walmart bag, ties it off, and beats the woman sensless with it in a southern fashion.
Neighbor: "I heard some animal noises next door I think the Wilsons were doing the Texas Ranchhand"
Neighbor's Wife: "That explains the Walmart bag full of shit in our mailbox"
by MississipiSwampMonster June 03, 2010
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