Wooden Spoon Speed

Wooden Spoon Speed is the speed at which a child runs at while being persued by said childs enraged parent.

any person can run at wooden spoon speed.

after lil jonny broke the window, he ran at wooden spoon speed to hide under his bed.

by JehovahsWittnessProtectionUnit April 12, 2010

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dry speed bumming

its when you putt sand in your crack to make it dryer than the desert and participate in unlubricated anal sex at high speed for fun.

so is ther a dry speed bumming on the cards tonight?

by dunglebump August 1, 2007

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ridiculous speed

Faster than light speed, but not as fast as ludicrous speed.

When pursuing a space-winnebago, first you gotta go light speed, then ridiculous speed, then, as a last resort, ludicrous speed.

by chuenweing February 23, 2008

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jew speed

the speed at which a jew runs for money; approximately 42 miles per second; what is necessary to perfect your superjewman powers

I heard the penny drop a mile away, so I ran for it with jew speed and got it before the person had a chance to bend down to pick it up

by j00b (jewish n00b) February 22, 2005

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In its most literal form, any member of the wrench family featuring a screw-adjustable aperture, allowing one wrench to fit any sized nut or bolt. While not the ideal tool for the job, the mexican speed wrench is the fastest.

Is that bolt there a 15mm or 16mm? Ah, fuck it. Hand me the mexican speed wrench.

by dbbartender October 1, 2006

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Baywatch Speed

The inappropriately slow speed an individual engeages in a primary task at hand due to one of three things: lazyness, incompetence, lack of focus and/or focus on something they shouldn't be focusing on.

I'm sorry I'm late - the clerk checking my groceries was moving at baywatch speed because she was fat and was out of breath

by Willack October 16, 2008

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