Douche Lord

Douche Lord, noun. Any human who has reached an unsurmountable level of douchiness; often the douchiest person one has ever known. A douche lord is the so-called 'king' ('lord') of douches. Should there be a town comprised solely of douches, this person would undoubtedly be elected President, Mayor, King, Il Duche, etc. dependent on the hierarchy of said town. Typically, a douche lord is one who possesses certain traits: lack of height, slicked back hair (ponytail optional), inability to speak English, KNOWN FOR STEALING INNOCENTS' PHONES OFF BATHROOM HAND DRYERS, monochrome attire, and general cockiness for no evident reason.

Common places where one can inadvertently stumble upon a douche lord: executive boards of healthcare companies (douchiness level can be measured according to picture appearing on website), happy hour at an urban brewery/bar/pub, IN THE KITCHEN AT STAGS HEAD, hosting a well-known reality television show, and other like-minded venues.

That fucking douche lord who works in the kitchen at this pub just stole my god damn phone off the bathroom hand dryer, where I accidentally left it!

Douche Lord by mrsbrady November 26, 2010

douche packer 

a person who packs douches.

stfu you douche packer, or im gunna punch you in the weiner

douche packer by K-Riggyy May 17, 2008

douche bag 

the scientific name for schmucks who roll up in public wearing wife-beaters or oversized jeans. Can also be found wearing sunglasses in nightclubs and/or sun-visors on backwards and upside down. These people should be drug outside and shot in the stomach, then used as speed bumps to prevent any neon-toting lowrider crap-mobiles from infesting the neighborhood and lowering property values.

Man oh man, a crowd of complete loser douchebags just rolled into the club and not sirprisingly, all the women rolled out the other side and left. Now it's a giant sausage fesitval and we are all screwed. Guess I'll go write a rap song.

douche bag by Bling Bling WBF August 4, 2003

Douche bands 

A fundamental part of the douche attire, douche bands are one or a pair of any chain or barb wire tattoos along the arms. These tattoos scream of douchebaggery.

The more visible and cliche these douche bands are, the douchier the individual. Douche bands on the neck are symptoms of an intense degree of douche bag, most likely the kind that has visited prison multiple times.

"Holy shit there's a barb wire on your neck! How many times were you a victim or prison bro rape to have to overcompensate with douche bands to look super hardcore?"

Douche bands by PalaceofWisdom July 14, 2009

Douche Lord

A person who has surpassed the simple "douche bag" they have become a lord in the art of douchebaggery, therefore becoming a douche lord.

That dude is a major douche bag!" "Na man, hes surpassed that, hes a douche lord.

Douche Lord by BigDickBallerrrr March 2, 2011

douche fag 

when you wanna call someone a douche bag but realize its overused, so you add fag at the end instead.

shut the fuck up you fucking douche fag

douche fag by Urban Dictionary June 25, 2006

douche dick 

A person with both the qualities of a douche bag and also a dick.

Hey that guy wearing the pink shirt with the collar up is a real douche dick.

douche dick by timbog1979 July 31, 2008