"Sperm-troeteldier" (singular) or "Sperm-troeteldiere"(plural) is an Afrikaans - a language spoken in South Africa - collective noun and neologism, that directly translates to "sperm pet/s" in English. It refers to annoying infants/toddlers/children/teenagers, as the concept or idea itself, is derivative of the well-known fact that humanity is the only mammal species in the history of existence that keep their sperms as pets. This quaint little Afrikaans neologism is specifically designated for individuals who really don't like kids, and a very polite (albeit somewhat sarcastically offensive) way to describe those annoying little "knater monsters" (crotch goblins), of your friends and immediate family. This silly little neologism has maximum effect when used in close proximity to a Karen. So, if you don't like kids; this one's for you!
"Jirre, ek moet alweer vandag na my suster se fokken sperm-troeteldiere gaan kyk!"
(Jesus, today I have to go and babysit my sister's fucking sperm pets again!)
"Susan! Kom haal jou sperm-troeteldier, hy het sopas op my nuwe fokken skoene gekots..."
(Susan! Come and fetch your sperm pet, he puked on my new fucking shoes...)
Persoon 1: "Fok, ek haat kinders!"
(Person 1: "Fuck I hate children!"
Persoon 2: "Jy bedoel seker sperm-troeteldiere?!"
(Person 2: "You probably mean sperm pets?!")
(Jesus, today I have to go and babysit my sister's fucking sperm pets again!)
"Susan! Kom haal jou sperm-troeteldier, hy het sopas op my nuwe fokken skoene gekots..."
(Susan! Come and fetch your sperm pet, he puked on my new fucking shoes...)
Persoon 1: "Fok, ek haat kinders!"
(Person 1: "Fuck I hate children!"
Persoon 2: "Jy bedoel seker sperm-troeteldiere?!"
(Person 2: "You probably mean sperm pets?!")
by thefriendlysatanist March 20, 2023
Noun. Amongst the top ranks of Sailors who have joined the Navy military branch. Also reserved for any Seaman whose name is Doug, regardless of their true rank.
"Dude, did you know Doug was in the Navy?"
"Yeah, he was a seamstress and then decided to become a Sperm Admiral to get more jizz in his diet. A true Seaman. He has certainly 'cum' a long way since that time."
"Yeah, he was a seamstress and then decided to become a Sperm Admiral to get more jizz in his diet. A true Seaman. He has certainly 'cum' a long way since that time."
When you throw up burp after giving a blow job and a little bit of that huge load you just swallowed comes back up
by DiKiFo August 28, 2016
An ancient mystical and evil creature of orc decent who collects the seamen of the men he slaugters and stores it in a secret cave where he uses it to make potions to summon antient Mongolian warriors to help him conquer the earth, no one knows exactly where these caves are but there believed to be located in the Mediterranean mountain region of Eurasia, but be warned if anyone ever finds this cave they must travel with caution as the sperm miser is know to attack trespassers with an oaken cane.
Children cringe as their parents warn them about the evil sperm miser - (child and parent convo)
Mom what's a sperm miser ? (Mother replys) Jimmy never go near a sperm miser or he'll steal your cum and beat you.
Mom what's a sperm miser ? (Mother replys) Jimmy never go near a sperm miser or he'll steal your cum and beat you.
by Shrek fucker November 17, 2015
by Freop September 22, 2023
A: Whaddya gonna do when you get home?
B: I dunno. Maybe fish for sperm whales, play some CoD, the usual.
B: I dunno. Maybe fish for sperm whales, play some CoD, the usual.
by iIsLegendz November 16, 2010
The act of a man blowing his load, like that of a sperm whale blowing through its blow hole, into a man or woman's nostril whilst they snort it back, like snorting a fat line or rail.
J asked L if she remembered the favor she owed him. She said, "yes, I told you it could be anything, you name it." He said, "what about The Sperm Rail?" In which she replied, "I remember you explaining this to me, the answer is yes, we have to try it at least once." J replied, "this is why your the best woman I could ever have."
by jasonjjung76 October 27, 2022