Texas Douche

When your turd hits the water in the toilet so hard it backsplashes all over your ass.

"You're such a Texas Douche...no better than an ass covered in shit water."

by Cabaluchi February 20, 2020

Douche Blindness

1. The inablitly to see that a person is a douche bag.

2. The inablity to self-realize doucheyness.

1. "Why is she talking to that collar popper?"

"Mindy? Total douche blindness."

2. "I'm going out with Mindy tonight, Ed Hardy or Tap Out brah?"

by JTHome September 10, 2010

Douche-Tard

A majorly retarded douche-bag. Self explanatory.

Russ Thompson can be a major douche-tard at parties.

by WouldntULikeToKnow August 31, 2014

Douche Gauntlet

The long pathway you must encounter in certain social setings that is chock full of douchebags who all have some sort of witty comment fueled by either liquid courage or the delight they find in eachother's company.

This is mainly experienced by younger, more attractive girls who have to walk past a crowd that is typically all males dressed very similarly, drinking the trendy drink of the week and being extra single and alone.

Kendra- "The worst part of being a cocktail waitress is having to run the Douche Gauntlet every time I pick up a round of drinks from the well."

Trina- "Oh, I know .. . . . try making your way to the bathroom past all of the ass hats"

by KK Vegas August 2, 2010

douche on the loose

A douche bag roaming free and unattached looking for his next victim.

Ansley finally broke up with her boyfriend. Now he's a douche on the loose.

by gasummer09 May 30, 2009

Douche-a-litus

A contageous disease, often caught by fellow friends, resulting in 'douche' symptoms.

'OMG WTFBBQ?! I just caught douche-a-litus from that douche over there.'

by TandC May 5, 2009

Douche Empress

An extreme version of the term douche bag (a demeaning obscenity using reference to a tool women use during their period). It is a play off of the name "Douche Lord", usually referencing men. A Douche Empress is reserved for women and would reference that a person is beyond a douche bag- and requires a more demeaning term.

I can't stand that bitch we work with, she is such a Douche Empress.

by WestATLien April 21, 2010