porch monkey

a derogatory way of describing an person of African decent

hey porch monkey--you got the money you owe me for the crack rock I sold you?

by charlie December 9, 2003

Slapping the monkey

British slang for masturbation

John- *fap fap fap*
Bill- hey... what are you doing
John- Not slapping the monkey if thats what you think

by Shamingo June 18, 2011

monkey bump

The hardened raised area of a severe blow. Usually administered with the middle knuckle of a fist. Common amoung siblings.

When aggravated Jon would inflict one hell of a monkey bump!

by [e-mail] September 25, 2004

Arctic Monkeys

Arctic Monkeys are a UK punk/indie/alternative band. From Sheffield, England. Songs inc. Mardy Bum, A Certain Romance, I Bet That You Look Good (on the dancefloor) etc

"Alright mate, what ya listenin' to?"
"Oh a bit'o Arctic Monkeys"

by S#0rt1 September 30, 2006

Hand monkey

A person who just holds a joint and lets it burn, wasting the marijuana, instead of puff-puff-passing like a normal person.

Damn Courtney, either smoke it or pass it. Stop being such a hand monkey; you're wasting the weed.

by D.Train August 22, 2010

Monkey's Blowjob

You hang upside down using your legs on a bar while your partner has their dick ready to be sucked. You grab his waist to force his dick into your upside down mouth. Staying upside down for long isn't a good idea so make sure you take breaks every time after he cums. This probably improves leg strength?

Bob: Oh hey dude my GF just gave me a Monkey's Blowjob!
Walter: Damn her legs must be pretty strong
Bob: Hell yeah they are
Walter: Thigh guy.

by SomeInternetDweeb May 8, 2023

Freeze the Monkey

Verb | To have sex with a Snowman.

(Original definition by a YouTuber named "CaptainSauce")

"Hey Amy, did you hear that Kevin said he would Freeze the Monkey last night?"
"Yeah, Emma! Kevin is such an idiot sometimes!"

by RandomMoron February 22, 2020