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uncle cracker

A old trailer park ridden white guy with a fuxxored up grill, that sings lame rock songs and makes love to kid rock.
Hey i got a diamond in my tooth =B -Uncle crackass
by T1mm0rz December 14, 2003
mugGet the uncle crackermug.

Uncle Jesse

a term that can refer to an adult kickball team that is known for horrible kickball ability, thinking they are great at flipcup (even though they really aren't), and having a generally obnoxious and egotistical attitude. Uncle Jesses believe they are great at flipcup because they lack careers or ambition in life and, therefore, can spend all night at the bar playing Survivor. During matches against any true competitors, they predictably sh*t the bed. Uncle Jesse men are approximately 30 years of age or older and still insist on reliving their college years, drinking every night and running to their former colleges for football games every chance they get. They also tend to cheat on their girlfriends and wives. Uncle Jesse women are vapid sorostitutes, except for the occassional unattractive fat girl.
-It's 1:30am and you have work tomorrow. Instead of being an Uncle Jesse, pay your tab and go home.

-You're almost 30 years old. Stop cheating on your girlfriend, get out of your failing cheesesteak business, and stop listening to everything your mommy tells you to do. You don't want to be an Uncle Jesse your entire life!
by NotJessesGirl February 5, 2010
mugGet the Uncle Jessemug.

Uncle Susan

A manly woman, with oddly large bodily proportions and a deep voice.
'Yo, I'm pretty sure Mrs. Young is a transexual'
'Nah bro, she's just an uncle susan.'
by mazmaz December 7, 2015
mugGet the Uncle Susanmug.

uncle jesse

A man blows a load into his own hand. He then proceeds to make out with his girlfriend/wife and runs his siemen-soaked fingers through her hair. Upon finishing his round of tonsil hockey and greasing his better half's hair with his seed, he proclaims, "HAVE MERCY!" This relates to the Uncle Jesse character portrayed by the acting genius, John Stamos, on Full House. Uncle Jesse sported a sick mullet, used tons of hair product, and proclaimed the phrase mentioned above after sucking face with the boner-inducing Lori Loughlin.
After months of sexual frustration, Ted pleasured himself and gave his wife an uncle jesse
by Masturbatrix July 16, 2011
mugGet the uncle jessemug.

uncle phil

(n.) a formidable fat-roll situated on the back of one's neck, reminiscent of the one that Uncle Phil had on the TV series, Fresh Prince of Bellaire. Easiest to identify when the possessor of the uncle phil has a shaven head or is bald.
I'm not too photogenic in this facebook pic.

--No, it's just not very flattering to see your head from behind-what with the uncle phil you have going on and everything.
by thecheftopus December 14, 2010
mugGet the uncle philmug.

Uncle Bill

Creepy Family member most likely to molest anyone he can. The funny Uncle nobody trusts. The uncle who Volunteers to play Santa. May or may not be obsessed with Sean Connery. A "Billy".
"Even Though Uncle Bill had a lean swimmer's body, Lex HATED sitting on his lap"
by @ Pope Pesci XVII October 18, 2013
mugGet the Uncle Billmug.

uncle dad

<uhn-kuhl DAAD>

I see that no one seems to explain how someone becomes uncle dad, so I will take the stage. Someone becomes your uncle dad when your dad has sex with his sister (your aunt), producing you in the process. It is that simple. You don't even know if you should call him dad or uncle, so you call him UNCLE DAD.
It was a fine day in Lincoln Park. Joe saw his sister, Meg, was wearing provocative clothing. Before he could control himself, he felt Johnny Wank get excited and start to yell for more. There was only one way to get Johnny Wank to shut the fuck up: bang his sister. His sister was unlikely to comply with this incestuous deed, so he creeped up behind her and smacked her ass real hard. That took her by surprise and then he ripped off her clothes and raped her before she could do anything to stop him. When he was finished he ran away. Later, when Meg gave birth to a boy named Dale, Joe returned. Dale learned to call his male parent Uncle Dad and his female parent Aunt Mom. Life just sucks sometimes.
by Jesus Fuckendoucher September 30, 2011
mugGet the uncle dadmug.

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