Lang Wank

A method of masturbation whereby the masturbator uses a traditional one-hand grip on the penis, while inserting the thumb from his other hand up his anus. Due to the slightly uncomfortable positioning, this practice can mean the participant takes a "long"time to complete the wank to satisfaction.

This method was apparently first seen performed in Scotland and in recognition of this, the Scottish word for Long, "Lang" is used.

I just had a lang wank, but boy, my arse is a little tender now and I can no longer bring myself to smell my thumb.

by The Artful Fudger December 13, 2010

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Get the Lang Wankmug.

Wank in the Bush

When you have an awkward boner and cannot keep it in your pants any longer and there isn't a bathroom near by, so you whip it out and pretend you're taking a piss but secretly wank in the bush.

Dan: "Liam mate are you having a wank in the bush?"
Liam: "Na mate just taking a piss, being holding it in all day!"

by professor oi oi July 29, 2016

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Get the Wank in the Bushmug.

Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020

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