Macsloan's definitions

wank the crank

Grammatically correct term for mastrubation. Wank is the verb preceding crank (noun.)

A person " wanks the crank" and not vice versa.

Billy's grandmother nearly fainted when she saw him wank the crank to the nude pygmies in the National Geographic.

by Macsloan October 19, 2019

Snarf

A person who smelled girls’ bicycle seats was called a SNARF.

That kid Boog Confer was the worst snarf in town.

by Macsloan August 27, 2025

Cuffing his dummy

Masturbating

The pervert got caught cuffing his dummy under his coat in a porn theater.

by Macsloan December 2, 2014

clusterflop

Polite replacement term for clusterfuck. When speaking in certain social situations, a speaker may feel the necessity to dramatize the futility of events, but decorum prevents. By utilizing clusterflop, the gravity of the event is emphasized without resorting to profanity

My attempt at cooking dinner turned into a real clusterflop.

by Macsloan December 21, 2013

Snarf

The act of sniffing girls’ bicycle seats -or-
The person who sniffs girls’ bicycle seats.

1. The young lad was actually a snarf who relished the sniffing of teenage girls’ bicycle seats, especially after they had been riding for an extended period of time. (Noun)
2. The boy would anxiously snarf the girls’ bicycle seats after they dismounted them at the convenience store. (Verb)

by Macsloan July 25, 2021

spanking the weasel

Masturbating

His old lady wouldn't put out so Rufus resorted to spanking the weasel on a regular basis.

by Macsloan June 8, 2016

Cuffing the dummy

Masturbating

Peewee got caught cuffing the dummy in the porn theater.

by Macsloan December 11, 2014