Awk-Turd

An akward turd. When you have to crap at someone elses house and you let out a huge fart while doing it and you know people can hear you from outside the bathroom.

Sam: How was Cindy's party?
Josh: Not very good...
Sam: What happened?
Josh: Oh, I blew it with a hot girl becuase I had an awk-turd...
Sam: That sucks, dude!

by waka mcwakanson March 17, 2011

Squirrelly turds

A bowel movement that is somewhere between normal and diarrhea. Consistently crescent shaped and varying in number.

I went to a kegger last night and have had squirrelly turds all morning.

by BoeZoe May 27, 2010

turd twat

eloquent term for the anus. Usually used in a sexual context, denoting the ability to perform sexual intercourse on said anus similar to that of the twat.

Millie was on the rag so I banged her in the turd twat instead.

by DasItManeZane July 25, 2016

herd turd

Alot of single shits

Man my stomach hurt so much I had a herd turd

by Hooded tree August 11, 2017

Swerving Turd

A trim line on Chrysler, Dodge and Ram vehicles that costs extra to upgrade your steering from being held together by spaghetti, to something more stiff like crucifix wood from the Churches they are constantly going to. It allows others to see how adept they are at trying to keep their Chrysler within two lanes on the highway, and glide them almost without effort into rest areas or the breakdown lane. It also allows Chrysler drivers to use up only two parking spaces instead of the usual three or four when they park at a Trump rally or their job at a hotel sniffing farts out of bedsheets.

Even with her morbid obesity, Irene was able to stay 30mph under the speed limit in the passing lane in her Chrysler as 18 wheelers passed around her, and thanks to the Swerving Turd package, she still could stay on the phone with her church group.

by Arial3535 August 26, 2020

Turd Swap

Get your girl to lie on her back and lift up her legs. She then spreads open her arsehole and you proceed to shit in it. She then shits out your shit back into yours. This can be repeated many times.

I did a turd swap with my girlfriend last night, we have come really far in our relationship.

by StJohnsUrbanTruthTeller August 11, 2017

turd surgeon

Someone who enjoys faecal investigation.

Fred: I heard Mark likes to play with his shit before he flushes it.
Mike: yeah, he's a real turd surgeon!

by dan1582 September 6, 2013