couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

The Dolphin

Testing whether you can suck your own dick by touching it with your nose while you are hard.

Last night I tried the Dolphin and I could do it. Been doing a lot of training.

by QuakerOtis October 6, 2021

Dolphin Dick

A deformity which causes a male’s urethra to be placed on the top, of the tip of his penis; resembling a dolphins blowhole

Sarah: Mike’s dick is so weird! His pee hole is on the top of his dick.
Bethany: Oh, that’s dolphin dick.

by anonymous March 23, 2021

The DoLphin

When you gargle the semen. Next you spit it up in the air, and catch it and swallow. After you look up at you partner and smile

Jesse loves to see him do the dolphin after he ejaculates in his mouth.

by Brattychil January 14, 2022

Emergency Dolphin

Flapping around with your hands like dumb flippers and tunnel vision when something shocking happens.

I roll up on a this bike crash and I'm trying to dial 911 but my hands went all emergency dolphin and it took four tries

by flukeskybalker April 27, 2022

dolphin weather

Very bad and stormy weather that would normally prohibit physical activity but due to the will of the Whitney Young student body, prohibits nothing

Girl: Are you sure you have to go to practice? The weather is bad.
Guy: Chill baby. This ain’t nothing but Dolphin Weather.

by Young_dagger_dick_my_handle July 21, 2018

Sugar Dolphining

The act of vomiting and shitting one's brains out simultaneously.

That gas station sushi had me sugar dolphining all night.

by Scabie Baby May 30, 2018