skank wank

a skank wank is a girl/whore that you find irritating and would like to lay her down and wank all over to prove u dont need her for nothing and that ur independant

she is only worth a skank wank if that

by Jordan Pritchett August 27, 2006

Man wank

The act of jerking off but not wiping up after.

Guy 1: Dude, your room stinks.

Guy 2: Yeh, I had a man wank cos my brother walked in before I had a chance to clean up.

by Paul 12 December 22, 2008

Wank Window

A wank window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse 'performing art' videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. Mission control usually grants wank windows when the wife has gone to Tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. Wank windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.

Courier: I tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn't answer the door. I rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant twat!
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.

Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.

by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012

Status Wank

When someone "likes" their own status on Facebook

John Smith is a status wanker

John Smith likes this

by el foldo December 1, 2011

wank parade

Wanking more than 3 times in night, usually while maintaining nudity.

Last Thursday i was bored while home alone so i decided to have a wank parade to pass time

by stuy.bee November 22, 2010

Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020

Angry wank

To completely explode and spew ones anger in the face of an unwitting person

Charisma had an angry wank when Judy commented on the redness of her hair after she had accidently dyed it that colour.

by 1 Toy Maker June 3, 2018