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Sperm Slurpee

A Slurpee consisting of 100% sperm.
My girl wanted to go to 7-11, it was too late so I put a straw in my cock and told that bitch to have a Sperm Slurpee!
by Ammo4u March 12, 2023
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Sperm-troeteldier

"Sperm-troeteldier" (singular) or "Sperm-troeteldiere"(plural) is an Afrikaans - a language spoken in South Africa - collective noun and neologism, that directly translates to "sperm pet/s" in English. It refers to annoying infants/toddlers/children/teenagers, as the concept or idea itself, is derivative of the well-known fact that humanity is the only mammal species in the history of existence that keep their sperms as pets. This quaint little Afrikaans neologism is specifically designated for individuals who really don't like kids, and a very polite (albeit somewhat sarcastically offensive) way to describe those annoying little "knater monsters" (crotch goblins), of your friends and immediate family. This silly little neologism has maximum effect when used in close proximity to a Karen. So, if you don't like kids; this one's for you!
"Jirre, ek moet alweer vandag na my suster se fokken sperm-troeteldiere gaan kyk!"
(Jesus, today I have to go and babysit my sister's fucking sperm pets again!)

"Susan! Kom haal jou sperm-troeteldier, hy het sopas op my nuwe fokken skoene gekots..."
(Susan! Come and fetch your sperm pet, he puked on my new fucking shoes...)

Persoon 1: "Fok, ek haat kinders!"
(Person 1: "Fuck I hate children!"
Persoon 2: "Jy bedoel seker sperm-troeteldiere?!"
(Person 2: "You probably mean sperm pets?!")
by thefriendlysatanist March 20, 2023
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make-a-wish sperm

When attractive parents birth an ugly child.
“You were definitely a make-a-wish sperm, dude.”
by Yourmomsboyfriend April 2, 2023
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Sperm web

Noun. It is a phenomenon that happens when a girl is being “courted” by a guy and they are about to get serious and then suddenly all of her exes, hoes, or random men start showing up trying to earn her affection. It’s as if all men are subconsciously connected through this sperm web.
“Bruh my ex boyfriend just texted me he misses me!” “Oh my god, ugh it must be the sperm web”
by Lolbrono January 16, 2023
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Sperm-Whaling

An entry level sex act designed to denigrate a female while qualifying as a popular double points finishing move for men. To participate in Sperm-Whaling, a man begins by gently ejaculating into a females mouth so as not to arouse her suspicion. Then, without warning, the male quickly yanks the back of the females hair in a downward motion so as to elicit a surprise factor while simultaneously orienting her mouth toward the sky. A brisk gut punch from the male finishes the maneuver as it sends his sperm shooting out skyward from her mouth just like a whale clearing its blowhole when surfacing.
Hey bro, Do you see that stuff on the ceiling? I had Becky over last night and I went Sperm-Whaling!
by Testeclease January 27, 2023
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Sperm-Whaling

An entry level sex act designed to denigrate a female while qualifying as a popular double points finishing move for men. To participate in Sperm-Whaling, a man begins by gently ejaculating into a females mouth so as not to arouse her suspicion. Then, without warning, the male quickly yanks the back of the females hair in a downward motion so as to elicit a surprise factor while simultaneously orienting her mouth toward the sky. A brisk gut punch from the male finishes the maneuver as it sends his sperm shooting out skyward from her mouth just like a whale clearing its blowhole when surfacing.
Hey bro, Do you see that stuff on the ceiling? I had Becky over last night and I went Sperm-Whaling!
by Testeclease January 27, 2023
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Sperm Talk

When someone is completely lying and trying to talk themselves up
Joe: "I just hit my 6-leg parlay and I'm rich now"
Lynzie: "Sperm Talk
by stwingey January 8, 2024
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