Horse Carrot

A large fresh grown girthy almost horse like penis shaped carrot that is violently inserted into a looooose hugeeee itchy cooch

Hey mom just walked in on grandma inserting her horse carrot for pleasure

now I’m going to buy bleach for my eyes

by David horse man December 3, 2022

carrot

My friend once died in a car crash because he had too many carrots shoved up his ass. Carrots are murderers; if you eat or buy carrots you are gratifying a murderer.

Oh, what is that I hear? Is that THE CRUNCH OF A CARROT??
SPIT THAT OUT NOW YOU PSYCHOPATH!

....what the f-

I WILL AVENGE MY FALLEN FRIEND

by (homo)sapien December 13, 2022

Kevin The Carrot

this mofo is a true brit he plays for marks and spencers FC as a striker and the england food FC the carrot lad loves a bit of brexit tackling and he plays with colin the caterpillar who is also a true british beast on the field

kevin the carrot is literally a goat

by big fat tubby December 29, 2022

Carrot

Now pull back briefly from the dripping streets of Ankh-Morpork pan across the
morning mists of the Disc, and focus in again on a young man heading for the
city with all the openness, sincerity and innocence of purpose of an iceberg
drifting into a major shipping lane.
The young man is called Carrot. This is not because of his hair, which his
father has always clipped short for reasons of Hygiene. It is because of his shape.
It is the kind of tapering shape a boy gets through clean living, healthy
eating, and good mountain air in huge lungfuls. When he flexes his shoulder
muscles, other muscles have to move out of the way first.

Carrots are good for your health

by icing_on_the_cake December 30, 2022

empty carrots-bag on a stick

Derisive term for a situation where a chronic moocher tries to temptingly persuade you to "just give him one very last loan" supposedly in order to enable him to accomplish whatever he needs to do in order to become able to finally pay you back all that he owes you --- and possibly a bit extra as a gratitude gesture --- in one lump sum. The idea is that he still does not even possess a real "carrot" --- i.e., any actual cold hard cash --- to offer you, but he is merely offering you the empty-talk promise of a "whole bag or carrots" --- i.e., a large one-time payment-amount that is far greater than any of the individual loans you have given him so far -- if you continue to bust your a** on his behalf. And of course, this assertion, too, is itself usually just another worthless promise, similar to all the other times when said handout-seeker has come bawling and blubbering to you for financial assistance in the past.

The local preacher tried to tell me that if I toil my butt off and live a life of strict propriety and chastity, **maybe** I will be given great rewards in Heaven. Sounds like a classic "empty carrots-bag on a stick" promise to me --- why should I suffer the agonies of an extra-hard and boring existence, especially when I am not even assured of any recognition or benefits for my efforts, anyway???

by QuacksO December 8, 2018

Carrot Cake Slaps

The kind of slaps you give someone when they only have carrot cake

“Oh, I had to give Breff some carrot cake slaps when he told me what was for dessert.”

by Zwaps December 10, 2018

Milk the Carrot

When a ginger haired person masturbates. As their ginger pubes are similar to that of the color of a carrot.

Person 1: "Cameron's gone home early from the party"
Person 2: "Bet that red heads gone home to milk the carrot"

by Con con July 22, 2017