Morning Wood

When a guy wakes up to a hard dick after a long night of sex

Lydia : Good morning Chad last night was amazing thanks for letting me sleep in your bed! (wink)
Chad : No problem sis my wife don't mind sleeping on the couch!
Lydia : Mmm! Looks like you got some Morning Wood!
Chad : Yeah I guess I do we should not waste it!
Lydia : Does Chad want a blowjob?
Chad : Uh Yeah DUH!
Lydia : Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm!
Chad : Damn Lydia you sure know how to suck! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
Chad's Mom : Hey Chad time for breakfast OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN!
Chad : Get lost bitch Lydia is taking care of my Morning Wood!
Chad : Mmm! Now time for some sasuage in your ass!
Lydia : Mmm! Breakfast in bed!
Chad : Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhh!
Lydia : Oink! Oink! Oink! Oink! Snort! Snort! Snort!
Chad's Mom : OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (sniff) (sniff)
Chad's Dad : Honey do I hear pig's OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN! (sniff) (sniff)
Steve : Hey guy's check it out ive got Morning Wood! (wink)
Chad's Mom : O Wow it's so BIG!

Chad's Dad : Damn't Honey quit staring at that guy's Wood!

by SlopNChop December 3, 2018

Morning Jew

The most beautiful sight in the world

I awoke in a tropical paradise and smiled as the first rays of sun beamed through the window and glistened on my Morning Jew...

by W_L March 18, 2010

elliot in the morning

D.J. that broadcasts for the D.C. and Richmond area. He is rumored to have a huge penis.

"That Elliot from Elliot in the morning could satisfy a moose!"

by Craig "big meat" Henderson July 20, 2007

Morning Glory

The act of waking someone up by ejaculating on their face.

"Dude, my roommate slept in and didn't give me a ride to work, so I have him a Morning Glory. For some reason, he's really pissed at me right now."

by 1-uptheguy April 9, 2009

Morning Rose

Like Morning Wood...but with lipstick stains that make up the "petals" of a rose.

She was a freak last night, had me waking up to a morning rose.

by Obsydaen December 2, 2016

Morning Cup of Hoe

Sex with a slut/prostitute before your daily schedule.

Random Dude #1: What did you do this morning?
Random Dude #2: Nothing. Just had my morning cup of hoe.
Random Dude #1: Nice... who'd u do it with?
Random Dude #2: Oh... just a whore.

by MiNdLeSsSeLfInDuLgEnCe January 17, 2009

morning music

The expelling of gas first thing when you wake .

Him " Hon, good morning"
Her, " Well, you're up, whats' the tune this morning?"
Him, "What do you mean?"
Her, "Well, that morning musicyou never fail to greet me with each new day!"
Him, "I can't help it if I have loud gas!"

by People Watcher December 12, 2009