Textual Masturbation

When a person writes or types words, phrases, sentences, articles, and the like for the sole purpose of self adulation. While similar to sexting, texual masturbation is primarily for the gratification of the person writing said text, as oppose to the one receiving or reading the text.

Can you believe he wrote an autobiography, that shit is pure Textual Masturbation ?!

by Lain of the Wired December 24, 2014

Preventative Masturbation

The act of a married, or romantically committed, Man pleasuring himself regularly so as to eliminate the temptation of being unfaithful.

If I didn't do some Preventative Masturbation, I would be chasing after every skank in the neighborhood.

by Niems04 January 9, 2014

Masturbate Party

A hilarious autocorrect fail in which someone wanted to go to a masquerade party but it autocorrected to masturbate party.

I have to go to a

masturbate party tonight

and I don’t know what to

wear to it.

Um why not go naked
lololol

HAHAHAHAHA

A masquerade party

Damn
autoeroticasphyxiation

I’m not even gonna ask

Yeah it’s probably for the

best

by Hurricane Dorian August 29, 2021

what is masturbating

Masturbating is when you touch your self “down there” to make you feel good

Donny: damn last night I was peaking in my step sisters room and she had her fingers deep in her pussy and was rubbing back and forth anyways she was masturbating

John: so masturbation is natural i do it you just put your hand on your cock and go up and down masturbating is fun and feels good

What is masturbating
Masturbating is having sex with your hand aka self

by Imnotagaylord January 24, 2018

masturbation in retaliation

Self service, in response to a break up, or a girlfriend who won't give you any. A man's way of saying "I don't need sex either bitch!" A man's best war cry.

JOHNNY: Man my girl is mad, she ain't putting out...
Mike: MASTURBATION IN RETALIATION!
Johnny: REVOLUTION

by JohnnyYou love him to like him July 2, 2016

The Masturbation Station

the heating plant

A lot of weird things happen at the Masturbation Station.

by Thurston June 18, 2003

Mental Masturbation

This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.

See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.

by gordon getty November 13, 2011