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spank the monkey

A fukn children's book you probably never heard of.
Y U freakin' out ppl, its just a book! "Spank the monkey lends a hand"
by xxdickyboyxx August 23, 2020
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Spanked ass

Ugly; unsightly

What an ass looks like after it has been spanked multiple times leaving a bruise or red marks.
That girls face looks like spanked ass or that building looks like spanked ass.
by Mag83 November 7, 2025
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Kank spank

A kank spank it when you spank someone across the face with a dildo recently used by a nigger faggot for faggot nigger sex. Usually this action is performed as a form of sexual pleasure or after raping a gay black man to show that your top nigga
“Tyrone was pulsing after I raped him, so I had to let him know I am the luedo legend with a good kank spank.”
by Ballsmcgay March 1, 2025
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pickle spank

a pickle spank is where one or two persons get naked, normally men, and then proceed to spank each others "pickles" until one person can not withhold the pain of the spanks.
Yo, you gotta try this new game with me. It's called pickle spank!
by mistermoist May 2, 2018
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The absolute most catastrophic event in the Earth's history, should it happen.

The BBC will send out an emergency broadcast alert, all motorways in the UK will be shut apart from emergency services and military personnel. Southampton will be relegated to the Championship, Pareth Pouthgate will sign a new contract with England, Tesco will stop its £3.50 meal deal, Alex Turner will no longer want to be part of The Strokes, an asteroid will be on a crash collision course with Earth and nothing can be done about it, Pisstiano Penaldo and Parry Pane will both score hattricks against Southampton, Portsmouth will win the Caribou cup again, Bluestar Bus will stop its £1 fares after 6PM, Domino's will no longer do Two for Tuesday, Pizza Hut will stop its £5 favourites, Papa Johns will stop its £8.99 large pizza collection deal, Virgin Media will go out of business, the sale of Elf Bar vapes will be banned in the UK, the servers for Call of Duty World at War will shut down, labour will lose the next general election. These aren't all the events that will happen and just the ones I have on the top of my head...
Spack No.2:MUUUUUUUUM! JACK'S SPANKING AGAIN!

Rishi Sunak or who ever the fuck is PM at the time: "You must ration all essential supplies now and limit outside contact"
by Jack Spank9049 July 30, 2022
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spank robbery

To be interrupted during a masterbating session. Interruption can be for numerous reasons, for example: wife/gf, parents, door bell ring, phone call.
I had the house to myself on my day off. I was going to enjoy some self love but my wife came early stopping me early. She committed an act of spank robbery.
by West Texas Red Dirt March 21, 2017
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barber spank

Spanking the monkey underneath the barber's cape.
Gina's titty rub against my shoulder while getting my fade. Had to unzip and low-key barber spank.
by ChillyFishH20 August 19, 2017
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