Goofy Retardation

The process by which someone that does actually posess some common sense, will look for the most ludracrous way to circumvent a problem/issue with a twisted sense of logic.

Goofy Retardation Example: Using gasoline to unclog a clogged drain, instead of a product like Draino, since its a harsh chemical, it must be good the the pipes. Another Example: Mayonnaise used as a protectant on a rod iron fence instead of car wax of some other protectant designed for said purpose.

by ExperiencedIdiotChaser December 17, 2011

dick retarded

A dick so good it makes you retarded!

He is so good, has me dick retarded for sure.

by Peachy dimples January 16, 2018

Illegally Retarded

A person who has no debilitating mental problems, yet still doesn't grasp reality or utilize common sense, even though a wealth of knowledge (the internet) is at their fingertips.

"Emmy thinks if she isn't attracted to someone who hits on her, then it's technically rape. That girl's illegally retarded."

by Iscariom June 6, 2014

Directionally Retarded

A state beyond directionally challenged. One who is directionally retarded is legitimately useless at navigating anywhere, either by vehicle or by foot. This includes following a navigation system, going to locations they have been to countless times, or even as simple as following someone else's directions who is sitting in the passenger seat of your car. No matter the circumstances, no matter the stakes, one with directional retardation will simply always find a way to fuck it up. This accumulation of wrong turns and missed exits during any voyage means that they are generally always late to everything.

Driver- Ok, what exit do I take?
Passenger- Take exit 4 and then turn right onto cherry street.
Driver (takes exit 5 and then turns left onto Apple street)- Sorry, I'm directionally retarded

by LemonZest June 19, 2016

static retard

Someone who talks lots of shit on Twitter even though their internet connection is static.

"Kingvec7 is such a static retard lmao he'll be offline in a minute"
"I know right didn't he get hit offline for like a week?"

by Bunyuns May 23, 2016

Retard Detector

When you hold your hand out at someone and if your invisible Retard Detector beeps their retarded.

Hey my Retard Detector started beeping near you so that means you're Retarded

by GreenBeanMan March 14, 2021

retard rangler

the non tard that keeps the tards in a group, also knows how to speak Tardese, the language of the tards

Someone call a retard rangler, a tard has gotten loose!

by tardefinition April 10, 2015